№7656[Quote]
In what experts are calling the most unexpected medical development of the decade, renowned scientist Dr. Soyberg has announced the discovery of a cure for the so-called “Indian Poop Virus,” a bizarre gastrointestinal phenomenon that has baffled researchers for years.
The virus earned its unfortunate nickname after unexplained outbreaks in rural and urban areas across India, characterized by uncontrollable bowel movements, spontaneous squatting, and a mysterious compulsion to avoid restrooms at all costs. Other side affects included a craving for cow raisin, and the urge to swim in raisin.
“It was unlike anything we’d ever seen,” Dr. Soyberg explained during a live-streamed press conference from his subterranean lab in Geneva. “Indians would suddenly feel the urge, flee into the open air, and spew raisin from their clittys”
The virus, which spread primarily through cow raisin eating and
But thanks to Dr. Soyberg’s revolutionary treatment — a probiotic nasal spray called ClittyMax— infected individuals can now restore their intestinal balance in under 15 minutes. Field trials in Delhi showed a 100% reduction in public defecation and a sudden decrease in melanin.
Indian health officials cautiously celebrated the announcement. “We are relieved saar. And frankly, so are our sidewalks, saar,” said Minister of Urban Development, a Pal Jeet.
№7702[Quote]
raisin EVERYBODY cares about
№7705[Quote]
>>7703He was revived with Venusian sapphire magic
№7707[Quote]
spread through cow raisin eating and what?
№7730[Quote]
>>7707I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME. IT WAS THE CIA. THEY WERE SPREADING THE POOP VIRUS IN INDIA TO STOP THEM FROM BECOMING A SUPER POWER AND INSTEAD A SUPER POOPER… IF YOU DONT ACT SOON, IT’LL HAPPEN TO YOU, TOO…
№7736[Quote]
I was patient 0 of the indian shìt virus, thankfully i survived