/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

My only hobbies are learning, working out, running, learning chinese, maths, physics and amassing random knowledge. that's it. what are (you)r hobbies?

>>44268
Shooting white ropes

>>44268
Jerking off and Shooting white ropes

>>44269
ermm chuddy jerking off is not a hobby

that sounds really tough. I think you should try to find fulfillment other than social relationships. I have autism too so I understand what you mean when you say it takes energy just to socialize. maybe try starting a project, or doing self-improvement for (You) instead of for others. become the person you want to be, not what you think people expect you to be. I know it sounds cliche but it's true. I cant really help you with the sleep part but it seems like feeling empty is your real problem.

TL/DR: focus on your exams first, work with the doctors after the exams to taper off of the medication.


>>44267 (OP)
>tw flanders bro are you an actual 'teen ? or you're like a 30 year old who came across the bald man glasses website r9k board somehow?

I am MUCH older than you guys think. The first time i came to the sharty i got a weird "disable lan intrusion" message and backed off. Then the 4cuck hack occurred. I have been wondering the net for a long time. I assumed that most of you guys were teens and have no father figures. sharty /pol/ was homosexual. Thankfully one of the old strong holds was rediscovered and research is being resumed there. The flanders posts just happened. There is this weirdness to memes where the good ones organically happen. I can't explain it.

One weird thing i have noticed with the ai and the llms: they progress at the same rate as memes. When the memes change, then the llms and AI seem to get better. I don't understand this. Might be a redherring and i am seeing too much into this. the world's an interesting place when you pay attention to it.

The rules of message boards are: Always assume the feds are reading, always assume everyone is under age, there are no women and you are anonymous as long as they don't consider you a threat.

I try to keep up with the times. Sometimes in life if you see a problem you just have to roll your sleeves up and fix it. Yeah you won't get paid but part of being a man is getting sick of looking at problems and doing something about them. Men do, foids nag.

anyway, glad to see you trying to take charge of your sleep patterns, but it looks like you are in a pickle. For medications the rule of thumb is tapering, and you work with your doctors when you do this. The good doctors will be familiar with the medications they prescribe you because they will have worked on the studies.

What is keeping you up at night? Is it overactive brain? Noisy house? or something else. Regardless the important task is getting you back on a good sleep schedule and studying.

when i took the asvab, which was one of the most important tests in my life, they stuck me in a hotel room, with a strange guy, next to busy rail road tracks. Not sure if this was on purpose by the government to weed out people or just "lowest bidder hotel room" probably the latter. I got no sleep that night. However the excitement of having control of my life and doing something helped me through that test.

So lets control the variables we can control while the meds try to take hold 1: make sure you are properly studying for your finial. 2: make sure you are eating well and drinking a lot of water. Make sure you are active.

Now: if your sleep does NOT improve, then the emergency plan: the energetic diet. I was told eating apples keeps us awake for watch, not sure if that is true or not, but for breakfast before the exam eat some eggs, dark chocolate, drink water and avoid overly caffeinating. Honestly if the exam is important you should research your exam day breakfast, something you can safely eat that won't give you the poops while you take your test. When we control as many variables of chaos as we can, we gain confidence, and when we say "i put in the best i could" we are happy with our results.

Getting off of medication sounds like your long term goal, and i think that is a good one. So AFTER your exam, you will need to bring up your plan to your doctors. Tell them "i want off of medication" and show them what you are taking. Remember to TAPER, your body will not react well when those chemicals are gone all at once. The doctors will help you with your tapering plan.

>My entire life revolves around me being smarter than anyone else, so when I lose that, I can't do anything.

OOF Gotta fix that! there is ALWAYS someone smarter or stronger friend. that's life, and you DON'T want to be the smartest man in the room when there is a catastrophe, because guess who has to clean up the mess. So that's a concurrent goal: finding the real you. Is that becoming an expert at something? is that becoming a skilled craftsman? a gentleman scholar? That's for you to decide, and it HAS to be you to decide. not me, not anyone else. That may be tough but the effort will be worth it.

>This experience made me realise that apart from my inflatable ego
Humility helps us learn. I stopped chasing money and started chasing happiness. We view money as the means to the end when in reality it's just a tool to get there. It's good that you caught that ego now instead of letting it cause you trouble down the road. It's a difficult balance between being competently humble and being a doormat.

As for your hobbies and working out: there will be times in life where you have to operate with little sleep. I had 20 hour work days in the navy. As long as you are not working with dangerous tools, or driving your hobbies may be fine. Also try lighter workouts. Working through the suck is part of being an adult.

Hang in there, and keep up trying to improve.

I took the meds back and nothing changed and it's even worse now. for some reason the other meds are less/more potent or something? I don't understand anything at all anymore. I,m not even trying to understand the metaphysics of the meds and trying to look for signs or the next strategy to remove them. I'm taking them back and I know that if i redo everything like i did before, i will get good sleep again, but WHENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN . i am so fucked oh my god i ruined everything. it'S been 2 days and nothing's changed.


Before, i had motivation, i had the spirit, the will, willpower or whatever. this kept me going even in the toughest of times. but now that i not only lost the battle against medication, AND my sleep is probably stil lfucked for a week, i've lost all hope. all motivation is gone. everything is gone. every day is pure torture and dread. i don'T enjoy any fucking thing at all since i can't do anything.

whenever i had insomnia the only thing i could do was gooning (which i hate because porn is evil but at least it makes the time pass and gives me some dopamine) and browse da shardee. but now i don't enjoy it. i don't enjoy anything at all and i just stare at the wall for the entire day. i 'm pretty sure i ruined everything and if tomorrow doesn't get better I'll fucking kill myself.


the meds aren't even that bad too, it's heavier (side effects, dependence) than melatonin but lighter than anything else you would get over the counter. the only side effects i get is that i somewhat have troubles peeing in the morning and it may give me hangnails.


i hate myself and what i did. my greatest strength and weakness is my perseverance/willpower but it seems to be the end of me.

i'm such a stupid retarded idiotic negative iq retard. i was only tapering off the meds but when the sleep got bad i just kept going on tapering off and doing sleep restriction which made it better but because i was so HOPEFUL AND FULL OF WILLPOWER I JUST KEPT GOING LIKE A RETARD



I'm sorry flanders bro for making you read this mess of a text. i wish i could still show the world all the wonderful things i did

i'm in a dilemma :

keep the meds and wait for it to go back to normal
don't take the meds and use the progress you did to have good sleep

which one would be faster? I don't know

i also wonder flanders, why are you helping us ? you've been in the navy, you've probably got a kid maybe (or not), a wife? a job? why do you spend your finite time out of helping us? aren't you selfish like the rest of us? why are you wasting your precious time on us? is it because you want to volunteer to help people but only want to help non leftists/wokists/nwo enthusiasts ? or is it because you want to help people who can be helped (unlike drug addicted homeless people who are hopeless and doomed)? what about helping animals?

>>44425
Does your doctor know? I'd make an appointment, with everything written down, about what happened. They do this for a living, they should have far better tricks then i do. Let them know why you are upset, about the exams.

Next calm down. Panic helps with getting that rush of energy you need to flee or fight, but that's it. I am getting a hunch that it's more than just medicine, that you got some exam stress. That's good because it drives you to work towards studying, but at this level it's holding you back. Take some deep breaths to get the blood circulating, drink a glass of water. Set up a study schedule, talk to TA's and teachers about what you are studying, why, and let them know your situation, and do your best.

>whenever i had insomnia the only thing i could do was gooning
Been there, done that. Gooning messes with your dopamine and i think serotonin, key sleep chemicals. Double checking on the internet and apparently it's: dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins.

If it's NOT helping then don't do it. Easier said then done i know. Try counting backwards? I had a lot of sleep trouble over the years, and it gave me some problems too. The doctor said lifting and exercise so try that?

>>44430
I don't have an answer honestly. A lot of what i see here makes me go "oh raisin that was me!", and it scares me to think that i just got lucky and muddled through life. IF you see someone drowning do you watch or do you help? IT feels like watching people drowning in life. One day i posted ned flanders pics i had in my meme folder while giving advice and it just grew.

Memes do that. I can't explain it. Maybe God said "let there be flanders posting" and i was there at that time? Maybe my schizo internet posting got out of hand? Moot point in the end.

You guys will lean stuff, and when you get to be my age you can share the answers of what you have learned just like i have. I guess it's middle aged man super powers?

It reminds me a bit of that book "do androids dream of electric sheep". Wilbur Mercer was this religious figure in the empathy box. I think this was the first sci fi interpretation of the internet as we use it: a box where we share our empathy(or lack of) with other people.