/r9k/ - ROBOT9999

Don't give up now

You sound just like me from about 2 years ago geg.

>I had a nice start to my day today. I made scrambled eggs for breakfast and gave some to my cat. I helped my mother cook lunch and I washed the dishes. I then had a nice short nap. I went outside and posted something I sold on eBay and bought some stuff my mother and sister needed.

Sounds nice! I spent the day walking around my local woodland thinking of how much I'd love a nice beer right now.

>Then I spent 8 hours doomscrolling or playing vidya.

I played some rasinty roblox cartride games for about 4 hours only to rage quit all of them geg.

>I have exams in 2 weeks. I haven't studied properly in 3 years. I struggle to even do my homework. My grades are in the lowest 10% of my year.

Ok. Just because your past self couldn't revise doesn't mean you can't change now.

PLEASE ask your teachers for help, they do (or at least should) care about you and your grades, if not for the school's public image (scummy ik but still).

>I have some friends, but I feel like raisin because I get so jealous of them, so I try to isolate myself.

Don't beat yourself up about being jealous, try to match them. Also ask your friends for help. Swallow your pride because you aren't sacrificing your hopes on this hill. If they are any good, they will help you understand content (usually better than a teacher in my exp).

>I have horrible anxiety about studying and I can't focus at all.

In terms of studying:
If you can't revise at home, find somewhere else where you can. Library, school after the day is over etc. As long as it is quiet and you eliminate distractions.

Distractions: I think drastic action is the best course here tbh. I've uninstalled 'gram, all my mobile games (yes I 3 starred every tribe in the Battle of Polyopia during my GCSE exam period and yes I regret it) and any other social media or game on my phone. I use https://untrap.app/ untrap from youtube with firefox to control what I see on youtube, with the added bonus that it lags a lot. I've uninstalled and reinstalled roblox too many times to count, so I use the "Block Site" addon to block the soysphere websites, Xitter and porn websites.

My best advice for doing homework and revision is to do it in small steps, with mini breaks if needs be. Bring the question papers or book out. Read the question. Highlight the key info. Or write the plan. Main thing is that in between those small steps you don't do anything hyper stimulating, like jork it or play vidya.

>I've internalised all the voices calling me a retard and I've given up

Well certainly don't give up. It's not over until you've given it your best shot. Also you probably aren't retarded, just have a touch of the reallysads from corporate-sponsored mental health damage.
Or ADD <like muh heckin 'dutch cartoon!!!

If it's exams you are worried about, check whether you can retake them the next year.

>I want to learn to draw. I want to get good grades. I want to be an engineer. I want to be so much more, but I just can't.

From what I've heard, it is much easier now to learn to draw from online courses than school. For you to follow an online course I'd recommend sticking to some sort of schedule for the day or week saying by the end of it you will have done X number of drawings or lessons.


Just have hope, because once your mental health starts improving from the lack of brain frying by vidya, you will rise. Stay connected to your family, they DO care about you and your future (probably already doing that thoughabeit).


P.S. I have a hunch you are in the UK given GCSEs and A Levels are starting properly in about 2 weeks. Probably also SE bcs of the selective school. If that's the case though, just remember, the army will take you if you have a 4 in English and Maths!

>>43136 (OP)
Time to get an Adderall prescription. You'll study like never before

TL/DR: Take a deep breath, don't let your coursework scare you. Take time each day to study. Get sleep, eat well, and use the resources that are available to you.

See >>43155

>I want to learn to draw. I want to get good grades. I want to be an engineer.
great!

> but I just can't.
Why?

> I've internalised all the voices calling me a retard and I've given up.
Try destroying those voices with accomplishments. Take for example how you started your morning, those were accomplishments. You are your harshest judge, it's great that you want to achieve such a high standard, but you are holding yourself back.

Now in your shoes i would set study goals.*
*disclaimer, i got thoroughly defeated by math for engineering and ended up in management information systems. Engineering is hard because lives are at stake.

Engineering is dominated by math. That should be your biggest focus. I had teachers say "this won't be on your test because you have NOT had the math for this" then they turned around and put it on the test anyway. Engineering is dominated by math. Part of why i left was i struggled with math, i would have added too many years to my major due to the math. AFTER your exams i will share esoteric knowledge i have gained, NOT before.

Math defeated me, so i understand that it's a serious foe not to be disrespected. Go to the tutoring, work on your math, talk to your teachers in their office hours. This will make you new friends, provide insight, and help with math. you can't just focus on math though, take some time each day to work on each subject. Read your overpriced textbooks, study your previous tests. The exam at the end of each semester is like Devastator from transformers: it's made up of all the previous tests of the semester and THEN some.

> If that's the case though, just remember, the army will take you if you have a 4 in English and Maths!
Avoid the military. Only join if: you are about to be on the street, or you want to leave your town.

I had some very crippling anxiety in school. I went from: a guaranteed paycheck, guaranteed food, guaranteed health care and guaranteed friends to: on your own, back with parents i hated, with a wife, in the obama dried raisins of every berry economy. I STILL hate my parents, but i was able to graduate. I had bad anxiety, post-service anxiety is the fancy term they use, and i know anxiety varies from person to person that's a you battle. You will have to face your anxiety down, but you have strong self introspection, so i suspect you are already on the right track, even if you don't know it. You came here to vent.

Hang in there!