/fpe/ - Fundamental Paper Education

PART 2 OF MY LONG-AWAITED FANFIC!
>Oliver
^Zip
Indian doctor
<MYSTERIOUS MAN (UNSPOILER PICREL WHEN HE APPEARS!)

As Oliver laid there on the dank, disheveled stretcher on the tuk-tuk ambulance in Mumbai, the pulsating feeling of heat emanating from his gut resonated throughout his body. The pain was unbearable – the only thing he could imagine was getting pierced by Miss Circle’s menacing compass.



>“Ughh where am I” grunted Oliver haphazardly



“There saar it will be ok”
said the Indian doctor



Oliver was concerned, as he did not know what happened to him after he ate the cow dung infested tikka. Could it be a tapeworm? Was it a silverfish ready to gnaw on his paper insides? He just had to wait for it to subside while he was on the stretcher otherwise the stress would consume him like a weed.



“Ok saar gud news saar. You happen to just be blessed by the cow godess sar you’ll be in da holy land in no time saar”
explained the Indian doctor, with his eyes looking at two different directions



^“Let me see that!”
gnarled Zip, snatching the doctor’s papers from his hand in one swift motion with her pointy hands



^“You have botulism Oliver, and it says here it’s severe so we need to get you some medicine fast before things get dire”
clarified Zip. As the doctor kept looking aimlessly.



“Oh yes saar so sorry I could not read that line saar my englis bad saar”
apologized the doctor

“also sorry too because our botulism treatment ran out it not in Mumbai saar. You need to go two sities north for that"



Zip took Oliver on her shoulder to the nearby tuk tuk station. She rushed down one that was unattended and quickly took off, leaving a random jeet without a way of transportation for at least 3 years. As they quickly fled north: they weaved through traffic at an alarmingly high speed, nearly crashing multiple times. They got to the main street, their vehicle slipped on a couple of piles of feces laid there by the local citizens. However, as they nearly flipped over due to their high velocity, Zip braked had and encountered a traffic jam.



Zip tried standing on top of the vehicle in order to look further ahead of the street only to check out the traffic jam was being caused by a cow crossing the street.



^“Fuck this, I’m stepping on it Oliver; hang on tight this thing has no seat belts”
shouted Zip, referring to the unorthodeliver presents to vehicle they stole.



Frustrated, she decided to overtake the traffic through the gutter, speeding and almost running over some jeet women dressed in robes. They reached the other side of the jam, but nearly ran over the cow.



The beast mooed loudly, echoing even in the loud indian highway. The citizens got mad the holy being almost got ran over by this American bigot and decided to pursue the duo’s tuk-tuk with wrath in their eyes.



^“They are after us!”
shrieked Zip



Zip decided to throw a Hail Mary and go as fast as she could, all Oliver could do is quiver in pain- his body began to paralyze as he succumbed to the botulism.



As the full speed pursuit ensued, Zip spotted a nearby gas pump: seeing an opportunity, she decided to drift toward it and accelerate.



>“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
yelled Oliver



^“JUST GRAB ON!”
screamed Zip



They both did somersault away from the tuk tuk, as it crashed into the gas pump and incinerated the buildings around it. The enraged Indians followed the tuk tuk but failed to realize in due time that they were going straight into their fiery demise, for which they paid the ultimate price.



As the duo laid there, watching the flashes of light that radiated from the red-hot sheet metal from the nearby destroyed buildings, they realized they were only a few miles from the other hospital.



^“Hurry! Before they find us!”
said Zip, fearful of any survivors that were ready to avenge the holy being they almost ran over.



Zip took a nearby unattended bike used her poncho to tie up Oliver limping body, as he was ready to collapse, she pedaled as fast as she could until she got to the hospital.



^“Please! I need botulinum antitoxin now!”
demanded Zip, as Oliver looked pale from his ailment.



“Ok tri hundred tausand rupee lady”
said the emergency room pharmacist



^“I don’t have that kind of money! I’m an exchange student, I never planned for this! Please I just need it for my friend!”
shrieked Zip, fearing for Oliver’s well being



“Yu can always show me yor bob prity woman yu can mari me and I give medicine for friend for free!”
snarled the emergency room pharmacist



<“Silence! Silly raisinskin!”
said a familiar voice.



The voice came through the rotating door, it was a voice everyone knows from memory and from TV. The voice of a tall, blond leader.



>^ “DONALD TRUMP?!” – Shouted the duo, astounded at the arrival of the US president.



TRQMP took out 20 american dollars out of his suit and handed it to the pharmacist



“Oh yes saar thank yu this will feed my family for week saar” – said the pharmacist.



Zip got the antitoxin and administered it to Oliver, as they gazed toward the president, ready to salute.



<“I’ll take you kids home, you must be very tired of this raisinhole.”
– said TRQMP





<“Let’s get to my private jet and get you back to America, the land of the free!”
– said TRQMP



>“Ok, Mr President. But first two favors”
– pleaded Oliver.



<“What is it, boy?”
– asked TRQMP



>“First, could I get a whole week’s supply of soap?”
– asked Oliver



<“I’ll place it next to your jet seat, now the other?”
– asked TRQMP



>“Now, can you bomb the raisin out of this place?”
– asked Oliver
^“Especially the school”
– interjected Zip



<“You know, I was thinking the same thing! Mr Saar, you’re fired!”
– chuckled TRQMP



As they got to the jet, TRQMP called the secret service to deliver an air strike to Mumbai and cover it up as an accident. The duo left unscathed, happily peering over at the bombs being placed down on the brown city. As, Oliver gnawed on his favorite bar of soap while drinking a fine glass of bubble water, Zip drifted off into sleep and they returned to paper school.



THE END