/dem/ - ocracy

In a stunning display of self-contradiction and ridiculous ambition, I stand before you as the most hilariously unqualified candidate for the presidency of /Dem/—a position I shamelessly covet despite my chronic ineptitude and a history of laughable blunders. I have consistently proven that I’m as useful as a screen door on a submarine, yet here I am, audaciously campaigning for a role I am utterly unfit to fill, all while being my own worst critic. Yes, I know every time I try to step up, I manage to trip over my own ego and fall flat on my face, but if there's one thing my perpetual cycle of self-sabotage has taught me, it's that failure is my true calling.
<Reddit space
My passion for this role is matched only by my relentless ability to disappoint—an achievement that no one else can claim with such ironic pride. I proclaim my candidacy not as a beacon of hope, but as a monument to my own embarrassments, a living reminder that even the most hopeless among us can dream big, even if those dreams are nothing more than a series of comedic missteps. And yet, amidst this self-inflicted chaos, there exists my unwavering love for BBC—a devotion that borders on the absurd. Every BLACK COCK, every fragment of that TINY BLACK PECKER, resonates with a part of me that desperately clings to the idea that TYRONE might someday rape my muddled existence. It’s a love as profound as it is paradoxical, a small light in the overwhelming darkness of my habitual self-disgrace.
<Reddit space
Moreover, I proudly embrace my identity as a furry, a facet of my being that further complicates the already convoluted tapestry of my life. In a world that often ridicules me for every misstep, I have found solace and strength in the furry community—a group as delightfully offbeat as I am. I firmly believe that the image-board website I manage, which has long been a playground for both genuine creativity and chaotic mayhem, deserves to be a sanctuary for all furries and free spirits who find themselves marginalized by mainstream disdain. Under my unorthodox leadership, I promise to transform this digital space into a haven of acceptance, where the absurdity of life is celebrated rather than scorned, and where even the most disheartened souls can find refuge from a world that seems determined to laugh at every failed attempt at greatness.
<Reddit space
To my critics, I offer no pretense of regality or competence—only the honest, unvarnished truth that my track record is as shabby as it is farcical. My campaign is not one of hollow promises or feigned heroism; it is a riotous confession of my own failings, an unapologetic embrace of a life lived in perpetual self-mockery. If you believe that leadership requires a pristine record, then by all means, let me remain the punchline of my own jokes. But if you yearn for a leader who is unafraid to expose their own flaws, to laugh at themselves while championing the rights and safe spaces for every misfit—be they ardent BBC aficionados, proud furries, or anyone else who’s ever felt sidelined by the world—then I stand here, ready to lead our quirky, defiant community with a sincerity that is as refreshing as it is tragically amusing.