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№89169[Last 50 Posts][Quote]
The city of shartenburg has been seeing heavy unrest and chaos ever since Soot became the city administrator. The Goon Gang, once a small criminal network, has evolved into a militia that has taken control of a large chunk of the city. As the city entered a dark age, it needed a hero, and it got one, COBMAN!
While in his gemcave, he finds out that Soot has been kidnapped by the goon gang and is being held hostage at an unknown location.
Cobman must try to save soot and defeat the goon gang, but first he must come up with a plan.
BEGIN!
The news report about the kidnapping of soot keeps playing on the tv, you have figured out that the culprit must be the goon gang, as they are his greatest enemies.
You must now rescue soot, but the road to there will take time and will be difficult.
First reply decides cobmans first action.
№89468[Quote]
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>>89463>>89464Cobman and devin leapfog on the gooner corpse right before it dissolves.
They attack the shotgunners, cobman uses his gun and eyes lasers, the gooners die.
King caca throws anotehr flame attack at the remaining minions, they are cooked easily.
Trent sneaks up on the goonlady and pushes her into the river.
>HIGGEEEEEEEEEERShe is dissolved by the liquid.
№89469[Quote]
>>89468Gandalf spontaneously manifests and explodes killing all gooners within a 50 meter radius
№89470[Quote]
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>>89469Gandalf spontaneously manifests in the distance and explodes.
This kills all gooners within a 50 meter radius and clears the way to the bibisi.
№89471[Quote]
For those wondering how long the adventure will last, as it stands now the goonerhell arc is the second last stage of the thread, before the final battle at goon gang hq, but this could change due to user input.
№89472[Quote]
Brundlefly comes again and talks about how they need to stop forcing toddler shows.
№89473[Quote]
>>89470king caca asks trent to join the squad
№89474[Quote]
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>>89472>>89473Bruntlefly catches up to the squad.
>please stop forcing your toddler shows for the love of ’min 6<margeSematary responds
King caca asks trent if he want to join the soystice squad.
>it would be good to get some companyHe says and gives a thumbs up.
He has now joined the squad.
№89475[Quote]
>>89474they go deeper into goonerhell and meet a group of mexican gooners who worship charlie from hazbin hotel
№89476[Quote]
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>>89475You bypass the huge bibisi that turned out to just be a big monument.
You walk for what feels like days.
Eventually you come across a group of mexican gooners.
They are worshipping a statue of Charlie from hazbin hotel.
>O ALGO, O ALGO, O ALGO! №89477[Quote]
>>89476The gooners are surprised by your appearance. Reflexly they release the brap attack
№89478[Quote]
up
№89479[Quote]
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>>89477>O DIOS MIOS, HOW DID THEY GET HERE O ALGO???The release a massive purple brap, the stench is so bad that everyone has to lay down on the ground with their faces downwards to not breathe it in.
№89480[Quote]
They then try to call other gooners with their war cry while cobman and his gang struggle with the stench. One of the rappers is unable to bear the stench and goes into the super saiyan mode
№89481[Quote]
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>>89480The gooner meximutts call on the other gooners with their warcry.
>GOOOOOOOON O ALGOOOOO!!!The biggest army gooners and goon minions you have ever seen appears in the distance, There may be hundreds of them.
Sematary channels his inner powers and goes super saiyan ultra blue black ™ and starts flying.
№89482[Quote]
>>89481Sematary then obliterates a lot of the gooners using the power of the black sun that he summoned. After a lot of killing, he loses his power and self destructs killing half the remaining gooners. The gooners left hopelessly pray to the statue
№89483[Quote]
'em lore or something
№89484[Quote]
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>>89482Semetary flies over to the gooner army and mayhem ensues. He summons a black sun that lasers the gooners, he saws and lasers trough hordes of gooners and minions.
After killing hundreds of gooners, semetary loses his powers.
He flies into the remaining gooners and self destructs in a blinding light.
The few remaining gooners pray to charlie.
№89485[Quote]
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snowman appears
№89486[Quote]
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>>89484Their prayers result in GODren being summoned. HE will now fight on the gooners' side.
№89487[Quote]
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>>89486A surviving gooner daydreams about jiren coming to their aid while huffing on copium.
In reality, CHADren would never join the gooners, also he is too powerful for this universe now that saiyan semetary is dead.
№89488[Quote]
>>89487The gooner then dies in one shot, the killer turns out to be charlie from habin hotel who was trapped in the statue by the gooners.She joins Cobman's group. Seeing their idol join the other side, the leftover gooners all surrender
№89489[Quote]
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>>89488Suddenly the gooner gets one shotted by demonic fire.
>ACK!Charlie has broken out of the statue and killed the gooner, the meximutts are confused.
She walks over to the soystice squad and joins them.
>o dios mios o algoThe gooner meximutts surrender at the sight of their idol joining the other side.
№89490[Quote]
>>89489the gooner meximutts release a lot of cum
№89491[Quote]
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>>89490The gooner meximutts cum their pants at the sight of Charlie, even doe she just joined the other side.
№89493[Quote]
Devin uses his troon kike black magic to teleport the gooners to therapy. Using all of his power, he detransitions and becomes a goyim in the process.
№89494[Quote]
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>>89493Devin uses his kike magic to send the mexigooners to shartenburg therapy trough a portal.
One of the gooners let out a scream that perfectly cuts when the scene goes back to goonerhell.
(((Devin))) uses all his power to detransition but becomes a goyim in the process.
№89495[Quote]
Bump just in case
№89496[Quote]
>>89494Ask Charlie where the heckin exit is. She must be familiar with the layout of this place.
№89497[Quote]
im still waiting for marylin
№89498[Quote]
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>>89496>>89497>do you know where the exit to this place is? we have been stuck here for what feels like an eternity<To find the exit you must first pass 3 bibisi monuments, then you must enter the crater of mt goon, a portal should be the-Marylin Manson drops down behind cobman and attacks him before she can finish the sentance.
№89499[Quote]
>>89498Use your martial arts skills to throw Marilyn Manson over your back and pin him to the floor. Threaten him with your shotgun and ask him what he's doing here.
№89500[Quote]
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>>89499You throw Marilyn Manson over your back and then pin him on the floor.
You aim your shotgun at him.
>WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?<get that gun out of my face and i will tell you №89501[Quote]
Get together and take a group photo for the memories and also for the 'ki
№89502[Quote]
Gemmy thread
№89503[Quote]
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>>89501You get together and take a group photo for the memories, Marilyn is not so fond of it.
You can put this on the wiki
№89504[Quote]
>>89503Find a way out of goonerhell before the dimension police take notice of where you are
№89505[Quote]
>>89503could you make a version of this where king caca's face is clear or something
№89506[Quote]
>>89503Heckin incomprehensible gembo
№89507[Quote]
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>>89504You begin to walk in the direction of mt goon, Charlie leads the way.
You must get there quickly, before the dimensional police finds out and before soot is executed.
Here is a rough map of this part of goonerhell, the red line on map 2 is your journey so far.
№89509[Quote]
Cobman charge up your spade power with the giant bibisis
№89510[Quote]
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>>89509After walking for ~10 hours and facing only minimal gooner resistance(semetary almost wiped out the entire gooner battallion that was in the area) you get to the second giant bibisi.
You put your hand on it and charge up your SPADE POWER ™ ® ©!
You can now throw spades at your enemies with a 3 turn cooldown.
№89511[Quote]
>>89510Find a car or something
№89512[Quote]
>>89510>>89511Build a car or boat out of dead gooncels
№89513[Quote]
>>89510Receive froot's gorilla gun from the sixth admin of the website adventure that lets you turn people into niggers
№89514[Quote]
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>>89511>>89512>>89513You can’t find a car, so you build this unholy abomination from gooner corpses you collected instead.
Everyone but king caca gets inside, he stands on the roof to counter any attacks on the car.
King caca recieves the gorilla gun as he is the only one not inside the car.
№89515[Quote]
>>89514Swear to reduce your personal carbon footprint by 2030, rev that baby up and start driving towards mt goon
№89516[Quote]
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>>89515You swear to reduce your carbon footprint by 2030 and then you rev up the gooncar.
It runs on gooner sharts.
You drive along the river towards mt goon, on the other side you see hordes of gooners
Also here is the current map.
№89517[Quote]
Its possible that i will take a break from tomorrow to friday
№89518[Quote]
up
№89519[Quote]
up
№89520[Quote]
>>89516pay each gooner 1 shekel to fuel your car with 1 gallon of sharts per gooner
№89521[Quote]
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>>89520You get out of the car and shout to the gooners
>fuel my car with your sharts and i will pay you with shekels!Almost all gooners in goonerhell know about you at this point, so they just begin shouting insults at you, but because none of them have ranged weapons they cant do anything…
Unless they manage to find a way to your side of the river…
№89522[Quote]
up
№89523[Quote]
>>89521use nettspend's sharts instead
№89524[Quote]
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>>89523Nettspend sharts into the goonmobile’s gas chamber, charging it with more fuel.
It was never out of fuel, it just needed some more.
The goonmobile starts glowing green and supercharges.
№89525[Quote]
up
№89527[Quote]
>>89524Continue driving towards the next bibisi.
№89529[Quote]
>>89521Moon the gooners from your moving car
№89530[Quote]
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>>89527You approach the second bibisi on the road to mt goon, you can see it in the distance.
In front of it there is another company of gooners, this time on your side of the river.
№89531[Quote]
>>89530Try to avoid them. Also fire at them with the gorilla gun.
№89532[Quote]
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>>89531You try to steer past the gooners.
King caca fires the gorilla gun into the crowd of gooners, turning about half of them into some of the most vantablack gorilla niggers you have ever seen.
>SHEEEEIIIIITThey scream
№89533[Quote]
>>89532Drive past them and hope that racism works its course.
№89534[Quote]
>>89532Yell at them that the purple gooners are systematically oppressing the nigger gooners and that black lives matter so that they infight
№89535[Quote]
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>>89533>>89534You park your car and yell
>LISTEN UP BLACK GOONERS, THE PURPLE GOONERS HAVE BEEN OPPRESSING YOU, TIME TO FIGHT BACK, BLACK LIVES MATTER!It’s monkey hear monkey do, so as you drive past the gooners they begin beating eachother up and slowly obliterate eachother.
Racism has worked its course.
№89536[Quote]
>>89535the cnn news squad suddenly arrives to report on the situation
№89537[Quote]
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>>89536The gooner version of the CNN news squad arrive on the scene and begin reporting.
>we are here on the scene of the violence, it appears a race war has begun between valid black gooners and racist purple oppressors! №89538[Quote]
>>89537the gooners elect an indian womxn (root) for president
№89539[Quote]
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>>89538The news report continues.
>in other news, it is now clear that root has won the election, this is a win for freedom of gooning or something, wordswordswords №89540[Quote]
>>89539The reporter disappears underneath root's stand and hawk tuahs on that thang.
№89541[Quote]
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>>89540The reporter dissapears under root’s stand and hawk tuahs on xer ”thang”.
This makes root very angry, xhe curbstomps the reporter.
The news report stops being broadcasted after this.
№89542[Quote]
>>89541The party reaches the third bibisi and catches a bit of rest.
№89543[Quote]
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>>89542The soystice squad reaches the third( second on the way to mt goon) giant bibisi where they will rest for a few turns.
Map shows the progress.
№89544[Quote]
>>89543While everyone rests, Cobman upgrades his spade power on the bibisi.
№89545[Quote]
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>>89544You want to upgrade your spade power on the bibisi, but its on the other side of the river.
How will you get to the other side?
№89546[Quote]
>>89545Build a bridge from gooner corpses
№89547[Quote]
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>>89546You collect some gooner corpses and try to build a bridge from them but the corpses dissolve on contact with the substance.
№89548[Quote]
Suddenly they are ambushed by a gooner army led by root xerself. Some spadecucks can also be seen and so can be some 4cuckers. Nobody is hurt as Cobman's spade powers save them
№89549[Quote]
>>89547do an airjump by firing the shotgun while in the air or something
№89550[Quote]
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>>89548An army of not just gooners, but also spadecucks and 4cucks led by root close in on the squad from several sides.
Root says
>You better surrender or i will use my black tranx powers on you, cobman!You activate your
SPADE STRIKE!Several superpositional spades strike the gooners that threaten your squad the most at near light speed, this obliterates the gooner squad.
Spade strike has a cooldown of 20 turns(you can still throw one spade every 3 turns)
Root orders the remaining gooners to attack, the 4cucks start shooting at you and your party.
№89551[Quote]
>>89550pull the used spades out of the gooner corpses and use them again on the 4cucks
№89552[Quote]
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>>89551You pull out the spades from the corpses.
You throw them at the 4cucks, 2 of them hit but the 3rd one misses and hits the bibisi instead.
Root screams
>KILL THAT RACIST NOOOOOOOOW!!!The last remaining 4cuck fires his submachinegun at you and hit you in the abdomen, you are a bit wounded.
№89553[Quote]
>>89552pull root's skin off and use it as a bandage
№89554[Quote]
>>89553You must first cross the river
№89555[Quote]
>>89554crush root's bones and turn him into a raft to cross the other side
№89556[Quote]
>>89555Root IS on the other side
№89557[Quote]
>>89556ah fuk
use the shotgun to cut down the johnson and make it tip over as a log bridge
№89558[Quote]
>>89552Root chops the 'BC into a bridge so the rest of the party can cross the river.
Then do
>>89553 №89559[Quote]
>>89558You mean the gooner army right?
№89560[Quote]
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>>89557>>89558You try to cut down the bibisi with your shotgun, but almost nothing happens when you shoot it.
Root orders a squad of gooners to chop down the bibisi so the gooner army can cross to your side of the river, they arrive and cut it down.
You want to pull off root’s skin and use it as bandage but there are too many gooners coming your way.
№89561[Quote]
up
№89562[Quote]
>>89560charlie calls other characters from hazbin hotel for help
№89563[Quote]
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>>89562>guys, you can join the battle now!Angel dust and vox from hazbin hotel appear in a blinding flash of light(im fucking sorry)
Meanwhile, the gooner army begins crossing the bibisi bridge.
№89564[Quote]
>>89563The dimensional police shows up because of the Hazbin Hotel characters
№89565[Quote]
>>89563a tv man from skibidi toilet shows up and asks that one hazbin hotel guy why he looks like a tv man
№89566[Quote]
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>>89564>>89565A tv man teleports in.
>?nam vt a uoy erASuddenly, the dimensional police led by cyberfloyd decend from the sky becuse of the many dimension hoppers, the gooners freeze in shock.
Cyberfloyd says
>yall niggas must return to your own dimensions №89567[Quote]
>>89566Blame Root and the gaggle of gooners for the incident and pray to science that he is convinced