/chive/ - Archive

Marge what is a downtime

Demoralizing brim

muppetGODS

A gem appears on the 'ty

muppets are aryan

>>113318
Even doe amerimutts made them

>>113319
obsessed

>doll was the best admin
<Because of the rules and posts he made?
>No because he shut down the site
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>you know these jannys remind me of my grandson
<Young and eccentric
>No They never do any work
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113323
They just keep coming

>I really wish froot would fix this site
<Why? You can still post
>That's the issue
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113313 (OP)
>>113321
>>113323
>>113325

>This Soyjak party is pretty dead.
<Where do all the soyteens go after the party died?
>The after party.
DOHOHOHOHOHO!

>There haven't been any good posts under froot
<That's because Froot is organizing a raid
>What raid?
<A raid on his refrigerator!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113330
Gemarald

inb4 janny deletes this thread because it made xheir clitty leak

>I hate the flood detected feature
<Why, because it deletes too many posts?
>No, It doesn't delete enough!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Please move this to the archive when its over

i cant come up with anything fuck

>The Sharty should be more like the jarty!
<It should have less rules? More gooning?
>No, it should shut down!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>hey you hear about the big things going on at the schlog?
<no?
>me neither!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113337
gem

>>113337
Fuggin kek

>Did you hear about the funny thread post on the sharty
<No
>That's because there wasn't one
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>Did you hear about the splinter with high pph?
<No
>That's because it doesn't exist!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>I dont think Max is my favorite admin now
<Why? Did you realize how bad he was?
>No, because froot managed to surpass him
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>Who is the worst Admin in sharty history?
<Soot
>Why, the 'p?
<No, he created the site
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>The Janny should stop moving posts
<Yeah instead he should move his body and loose some weight!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113344
GEEEG

>so this is the sharty it's not half bad
<Yup it's all bad
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Someone voice these

>What's the difference between /soy/ and /qa/
<I don't know, what's the difference?
>So that was you posting 442oons?
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Gem

>Did you hear that the sharty had a meetup?
<Did it have a good turnout?
>Yeah, all three posters showed up!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>you know, something doesnt have to be funny to be good
<what do you think about the sharty?
>its good
DOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113346
geg

>How much money do you think the sharty is worth?
<Nothing!
>Wow, that's a lot more than I thought you would say!
DOHOHOHOHOHO

>How much money do you think the sharty is worth?
<Nothing!
>Wow, that's a lot more than I thought!
DOHOHOHOHOHO

>Did you hear that froot added a board for furries
<Really? But I thought Soot created /qa/?
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>I think the jannies deserve triple their current pay
<But wait, don't they do it for free
>Exactly!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

Thread so good froot has to close the site for a second

>>113361
did you know Froot got forced to eat raisin by his bullies when he was a child?

>>113361
trips of trvth

Got looped by Jannies award

>I love the Christmas wordfilter
<But it makes it so much harder to post
>Exactly
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

gem thread

>>113359
gem

>Did you know there's a website for archiving soyjaks?
<Soyjak.party has a booru?
>Nope, Just a collection of their selfies!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

first good thread in a long time

'chived

looped award

Bump

vp

>finally passed that captcha, turns out you have to click on a "cobson"
<oh really? i thought you had to click on the close button!
DOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113375
im sorry but this one missed toss

>>113313 (OP)
eternal gem

gemmies

>Did you hear that froot wants do ban all namefags?
<I think that's a bad idea
>Why?
<Because then there won't be any posters left on the site
>What do you mean, that's why it's a great idea!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!

>do you think they'll ever shut this website down?
<why would they shut it down?
>because the people on it never shut up!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>The sharty seems to be changing.
<Yeah, changing from bad to worse!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>Did you see Doll's latest post? It sure was something else
<Yeah, he should have posted something else, that was horrible!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113382
Isn't that a lebanese puppet show?

>>113382
>>113381
>>113380
>>113379
Classics

>>113383
Nigga its the muppets

>A nusoicuck and a jartycuck walk into a bar
<What happened next?
>The barkeeper asks: "Whatchu doing with that mirror?"
DOHOHOHOHOHO

Here's how Statler and Waldorf might humorously critique soyjaks, based on their style of humor known from "The Muppet Show":

Statler: "Look at this new generation of memes, Waldorf. They call them soyjaks."Waldorf: "Soyjaks? More like 'no-laughs' if you ask me!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "These soyjaks, they've got more expressions than Fozzie Bear has bad puns."Statler: "And just as much comedy value, too!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "You know, I've seen better art in a kindergarten class."Waldorf: "I didn't know they had crayons in the soy sauce aisle."Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "What do you get when you cross a soyjak with a comedian?"Statler: "A very confused audience, my friend."Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "I wonder if these soyjaks have any hobbies other than looking miserable?"Waldorf: "Maybe they're just practicing for when they watch our show!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

These imagined quips capture the essence of Statler and Waldorf's sarcastic and dry humor, fitting their character as they critique modern internet culture through the lens of their classic heckling.

For inspiration on how Statler and Waldorf might react to such topics, you can look at their general comedic style across various Muppet shows and specials.


Here are some more quips Waldorf and Statler might make about soyjaks:

Statler: "These soyjaks, they look like they've never tasted a real meal in their life."Waldorf: "That's because they're too busy eating up all the internet's bandwidth with their expressions!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "I've seen more emotion in a bowl of plain oatmeal."Statler: "At least oatmeal has some warmth to it!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but these soyjaks are just full of complaints!"Waldorf: "Complaints? They'd make a better case for silence."Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "Do you think these soyjaks ever laugh at themselves?"Statler: "Laugh? They probably don't even know what a smile looks like!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "These soyjaks must be the new critics. They look like they've never enjoyed anything in their lives."Waldorf: "I suppose they're just practicing to be like us when they grow up!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "I bet they use soy sauce to season their memes."Statler: "And here I thought it was just their tears of boredom!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

These remarks are in line with Statler and Waldorf's tradition of humorous, if not slightly mean-spirited, commentary, always delivered from their balcony vantage point.


Here are even more quips that Statler and Waldorf might share about soyjaks:

Statler: "These soyjaks are like modern art - I don't understand them, and I'm not sure I want to."Waldorf: "At least with modern art, you can pretend there's a meaning!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "Soyjaks, huh? They look like they're auditioning for a role in 'Grumpy Old Men'."Statler: "But without the charm or the humor!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "I've seen more joy on the face of the Swedish Chef when he burns his soup."Waldorf: "And that's saying something!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "What's the difference between a soyjak and a sad clown?"Statler: "The clown might actually get a laugh!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "These soyjaks… do they ever smile, or is that against their religion?"Waldorf: "Their religion must be 'The Church of Perpetual Moping'!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Waldorf: "I bet if you put all these soyjaks together, you'd still not find one good punchline."Statler: "They're the punchline to every internet argument!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

Statler: "If these soyjaks were any less animated, they'd be statues in a museum of misery."Waldorf: "And I'd still be more entertained by the actual statues!"Both: "Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh!"

These additional quips continue to capture the essence of Statler and Waldorf's humor, poking fun at the exaggerated expressions and perceived lack of humor in soyjaks, all while staying true to their character from "The Muppet Show."

>What's the difference between a nusoi and a fish?
<What's the difference?
>None, they're both retarded animals that fall for bait!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>Hey it's been a while since the sharty defeated these jartycucks.
<How did they defeat them?
>Made their site obsolete by becoming them!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>How do soicucks start a fire?
<How?
>They rub their dick against their soytan bodypillow
DOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>How many soicucks does it take to change a lightbulb?
<How many?
>None! They're too busy gooning to femjanny in their 'cord vc!
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113391
>>113390
toss really dropped the ball

>huh, it looks like the thread died
<just like this site made me die of boredom?
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113388
>>113389
gemeralds

muppetDEITIES

Glistening gem of a thread

>>113362
singles of trvth

statler and waldorf won

muppets won

The Muppet show is pure kino, great thread

they were dropping trvthnvkas on the game awards

muppetposting will never catc-

muppets are soiculture

>>113404
>>113403
>>113401
>>113400
>>113399
>>113397
>>113396
>>113395
you WILL contribute to the thread

>>113405
im trying to think of one its hard

>>113405
its hard to come up with a good one

>well ive used a lot of imageboards and theyve never matched the sharty
<whys that?
>the other ones are all good
DOHOHOHOHOHO

>>113409
geg

Kino

>You know what the best part about the booru is?
<Whats that?
>Closing the tab
DOHOHOHOHOHOHO