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№104036[Last 50 Posts][Quote]
It has been one year and three months since Cobman and his Cobgang sacrificed themselves to defeat the goonbot and save shartenburg from absolute destruction. In that time shartenburg has changed a lot, Goon Gang is no more, a prison colony has been built in order to contain leftover gooners and other dangerous criminals and the shartenburg museum now stands where the Goon Gang HQ once stood.
For one year shartenburg was relatively peaceful, as the national guard had organized themselves under the command of mayor Soot, but now the situation is changing yet again…
<Suspense space
With no hero to protect shartenburg, new villains are rising. In the shadows lurks the Merchant, a former member of the shartenburg council who has gone rouge and is now resorting to robbery and heists to fulfill his kikeish greed…
<Yapping space
An even more dangerous villain has risen in the form of Commander Coal, a former general of the national guard who defected to collaborate with the gooners.
Commander Coal went his own way after the gooners were banished from this universe. He has created his own militia and with the help of them he will soon try to overthrow soot in a bloody coup to achive his ultimate goal: Becoming the supreme leader of shartenburg.
<Final wordswordswords space
Luckily, a new ”hero” has arrived in the form of Captain Science, an obese soyboy LARPer and Cobman superfan who is larping as a real hero. He must now stop the plans of Commander Coal and the merchant, but first he must become and actual hero.
He is now on his 561th daily visit to the grave of Cobman, very close to the encampment of Coal’s forces. There he meets an unexpected guest…
BEGIN!
You place a funkopop in front of Cobman’s grave while crying tears of true sadness.
>*sniff* accept this….funkopop..please*sniff*, i know you are dead and according to science ghosts aren’t real so you probably can’t hear me but still…please acc-
You hear a sound behind you, you look to the left and see a familiar figure.
You wipe your tears away and look at the heckin’ cobgang legend.
>OH MY SCIENCE! Are you heckin’ colorjak from the cobgang?
<yes…
It turns out that colorjak has learned how to speak in non-gibberish…
First reply decides first action after this post, after that i will include most replies as long as it does not derail the story too much.
№104246[Quote]
>>104245you rape and cum inside the demon and proceed on with your adventures
№104247[Quote]
>>104245use your sigma ohio looksmaxxing rizz to subdue xim and then rape xim
№104248[Quote]
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>>104246>>104247You use your sigma rizz to subdue the niggerdemon, then you rape xim so hard that xis asshole starts bleeding.
The demon passes out from the rape.
You can now proceed with the adventure, you have 3 options on what to do.
>go to the capitol and warn soot of the imminent capitol siege>scout out coal encampment>stay at the gym for some reasonTime to roll, if the post number of the next post ends with no repeating digits then it’s the first option, if repeating digits then it’s the second, if it ends with the number 5, repeating digits or not, it’s option 3
№104249[Quote]
>>104248soot pleas soot save us
№104251[Quote]
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>>104249You arrive at the capitol to warn Soot about Commander Coal.
It was in this exact location that colorjak met Cobman for the first time.
^i remember…Colorjak gets a flashback to when he met the cobgang in the gooncar.
№104252[Quote]
>>104251an obsessed shitalian shows up and xhe starts speaking spanish
№104253[Quote]
>>104251Holy canoli, when are the commanders Coal army will arrive ?
№104254[Quote]
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>>104252As you are about to walk towards the capitol, a really big and obsessed spanish-italian man interupts you.
>Mira este imitador de Cobman, vine aquí para admirar la estatua de Cobman y ahora estás aquí, ¿por qué copias a Cobman o algo así?>What? I don’t speak japanese №104256[Quote]
>>104254dance with him and hug him
№104257[Quote]
>>104254After hugging the shitalian , CS and his team enter the building to warn soot
№104258[Quote]
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>>104256You do some italian and spanish dances with the humongous shitalioko.
>Esto es lo mejor que me ha pasado desde que obligo a los Gooners a comer takis o algo así.Should the shitalian join your party?
№104259[Quote]
>>104258sure, let 'em join, we need as much help as possible
№104260[Quote]
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>>104257>>104259THE SHITALIAN JOINS YOUR PARTY!You reach the door to the capitol, it is guarded by two SIA(shartenburg intelligence agancy) glowniggers.
>please let us in pleasepleaseplease>*sigh* let them inYou enter the Shartenburg capitol and walk by a large Cobman statue.
№104261[Quote]
>>104260go to soot's office
№104262[Quote]
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>>104261After searching for it for a while, the party enters a room filled with offices, one of them have the label mayor, this must be it.
>YESYESYESYESYou have never been this excited before, you will finally meet soot, the person you admire the most, after Cobman of cource.
№104263[Quote]
>>104262before entering CS does some pelvic exercises and jelqing to increase his johnson size by 3 inches now having a heckin 5.1 inch big hero johnson CS Now considers himself worthy enough to meet soot in person so he enters the office
№104264[Quote]
>>104262do some neck exercises too, so your neck would be strong, and you will have a deeper and chadlier voice to rizz people up even more
№104265[Quote]
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>>104263>>104264You decide that you are not enough gigachad-esque yet to meet Soot in person, so you do some pelvic exercises and jelqing, this gives you a 5.1 inch schlong.
You then do some neck exercises to make your neck stronger and give you a deeper voice.
You pull the door handle with your limited edition plastic infinity gaunlet…
№104268[Quote]
>>104266Lil nigger I would rape you if he actually do that prompt
№104269[Quote]
>>104265Have colorjak keep an eye out for enemies while you enter the office.
Acknowledge the colorjak to Soot so he knows that he's a friend
>>104266>>104268Actually do that prompt, but Soot is actually mourning at Cobman's grave, so there's a nigger in the office as a red herring for kidnappers (or groomers, or rapists)
№104270[Quote]
>>104269You contradicted yourself
№104271[Quote]
>>104270Im not mad, i only sage because i don’t want people to reply to it
№104272[Quote]
>>104270He changed his mind so do the latter prompts
№104273[Quote]
Up nigger
№104274[Quote]
bumoing
№104275[Quote]
>>104265CS warn soot/nigger of impeding commander coal attack and in response he called as many officers to guard the capitol (useless attempts as the merchant squad will draw most of them away before the siege commence)
<Reddit spacing Captain science with soot/nigger authority then tell the guards to barricade window and flip over tables and furniture to use as cover while the mayor requested for airdrop of supplies such as weapon , ammunition, armour and a large Kevlar mask for colourjak to wear which will be dropped on the roof before the siege
№104276[Quote]
>>104265Captain science then proceed to gather supplies from around the capitol to create following gadgets:
>thanos gauntlet with four of its finger welded together except for the thumb retrofited with deconstructed stun gun on the knuckle that activate by curling all finger into a fist and strapped with taser on the upper part of the gauntlet that fires retractable needle pin wires which deliver lethal level of watts (5 meter range)>Paintball filled with ultra spicy sauce >A flashgun that beam high energy photon that momentarily blind the opponent (10 meter range)>Modified old crossbow that shoots saw blade at high speed <Reddit spacing Meanwhile feraljak switch his weapon for classic 1911 with hollow round munitions and both CS and him wear Kevlar vest for extra protection
№104277[Quote]
YOU VILL FOLLOW ALL THESE PROMPTS
YOU VILL RECEIVE ANOTHER LARGE PROMPT ABOUT COMMANDER COAL ARMY IN DETAIL
YOU VILL MAKE THIS THREAD GEMMY
№104278[Quote]
>>104275>>104276blud wrote a whole ass novel
№104280[Quote]
>>104279well see about that, cracka ass wyteboi
№104281[Quote]
IM NOT WHITE
№104283[Quote]
Wake the fuck up OP , I know you're there
№104284[Quote]
>>104283i think xhe's dead…
№104285[Quote]
I will split the stuff above into several posts.
I probably won’t include every single thing.
This will take a while, don’t reply until i have posted it all.
№104286[Quote]
>>104283I was away from home for several hours.
№104287[Quote]
>>104285>>104286good morning saar!
№104288[Quote]
>>104286Yeah but I'm not done yet , I already compile another slowburn a24 award winning essay about commander coal and his army also capitol guard outnumbered him btw
№104289[Quote]
Just finished reading your cobman adventure, it's gemmy
№104290[Quote]
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>>104269>>104275TURN 1/3, DO NOT REPLY YETYou open the door and enter Soot’s office.
In the office you see…
A NIGGER!>errrrm, isn’t soot supposed to be here?>he be somewhere else, so i sit here and do his work in da meantime or some sheitIt turns out that soot is currently mourning at Cobman’s grave, just like you were doing at the beginning of the adventure, what unfortunate timing.
>please, mr POC, some guy named Commander Coal will attack the capitol and heckin kill soot, you must do something>i have been hearin sum words about that shiet, i will order da coppas and da national guard to come here, i also gon’ bring in sum supplies and sheit №104292[Quote]
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>>104275TURN 2/3It has been some hours, and now nightfall is nearing.
The police, led by officer fatjak and the national guard have arrived at the capitol, some tanks are present.
Captain Science has told the guards to barricade the windows and flip over some furniture to Prepare for the siege.
A plane airdrops the supplies on the roof, this will be useful once the the battle begins.
№104293[Quote]
Next turn will take a while
№104295[Quote]
>>104291Shut the fuck up you annoying nigger and go leak somewhere else
№104297[Quote]
>>104296Possibly queued until after turn 3
№104298[Quote]
>>104297bruh does duke nukem even exist in this universe?
№104300[Quote]
>>104299Will slide in my next prompt after the police went away leaving the capitol
№104301[Quote]
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>>104276You gather some supplies that you find in the capitol, you pile it up and then cobble it together.
Here are the gadgets that you create:
>modified infinity gaunlet>spicy sauce paintball(can only be used once)>flashgun>crossbow that shoots saw bladesFeraljak replaces the cucked revolver with a classic 1911 that the police gave him or something.
Who will get what gadget? First reply decides.
№104303[Quote]
>>104245These niggas will arrive to shartenburg after next turn
№104304[Quote]
>>104301CS obviously getting the gauntlet and flashgun, feraljak take the ball , colourjak get saw blade crossbow
№104305[Quote]
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>>104301(You know what I lied , imma dump these prompt for you to sort it out after the police was drawn away due to the merchant squad hitting the bank and prison colony early and commander coal army arrived)
Standing outside the capitol is commander coal and his army of 25 foot soldier, through the combination of inhuman strength from his hard training and exoskeleton assistance, he now wielding rocket launcher that's shoot four rocket on his right hand and swap his left hook with belt fed machine gun arm , he had one man serving as his munitions carriers and reloader for his rocket launcher (blud thinks he's nemesis from RE3)
№104306[Quote]
by now the two spookychan users that have accepted captain science's request for help arrive outside the capitol having a marge moment on what is happening
№104307[Quote]
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>>104305aint readin all that lil bro
№104308[Quote]
>>104307Um it was boring if the strength of the enemies were kept vague so don't be SLF
№104309[Quote]
>>104301(do this prompt for when the capitol refuse their demands)
In the face of staunch refusal , commander coal had his men of four carrying a rpg to blow open the windows and another four to launch smoke grenade with grenade launcher inside the window, four squad squad of four men will grapple and climb either of the blown four window with each of them having a certain role (total 16 enemies entering the compound) :
Assault : carry a M16 rifle and three grenade
Support : carry a RPD light machine gun and a bag of ammo to supply his team
Scout : carry a MP5 submachine gun and a grounded drone unit to scan for hostile combatants
Medic : carry a benelli m4 and medkit
№104310[Quote]
>>104298Giving you a head ups , colourjak could shoot laser from his eyes and that shitalian fellow could eat blue cheese to activate his massive brap
№104311[Quote]
Now with all said and done imma go to sleep and wakes up few hour later or something
№104312[Quote]
(final prompt I swear , just need to get it off my chest)
One of the merchant's man disguised as prison guard kills the guard controlling the cell and pull the emergency release which open all the prisoners cell ,he radio in on his allies to start the breakout which the latter crash into the prison gate with an armoured truck carrying 10 of his buddies . The imposter then rally the prisoner into starting the riot to overwhelm the remaining wardens
№104313[Quote]
>>104312few notable prisoners are: cecefem, kuz, averi, and some obsessed nigger called the prophet of admin 6
№104314[Quote]
>>104313Definitely not a bunch that chudman could recruit but wait why is kuz in there ?
№104315[Quote]
>>104314Kuz is a pedo lil bro…but in cobman lore kuz got arrested for trying to heckin usurp soot but failed as his kolymanetwork buddies got shot and kuz was arrested for treason and possesion of 'p
№104316[Quote]
>>104315Ok all of them are dangerous miniboss (except the prophet) with their corrupted follower of their own , trooncaca, citizen infected with averi furry virus and new kolyma militia
№104317[Quote]
This is getting too much.
I don’t even know what order i will do all of these in
№104318[Quote]
>>104316and all of them are under the authority of captain coal
№104320[Quote]
everyone prompts are paused for the moment so shut up and let OP work u obessed slfs
№104321[Quote]
Shartenburg will burn with the escapees causing massive chaos stretching both national guard and police force even thinner with chudman mother will become one of the victim
№104322[Quote]
>>1043172 new recruits arrived > prison colony breakout > police drawn away > commander coal arrived
The bank robbery one can wait
№104323[Quote]
I will post one more turn before i head to bed(i took a break because i was out of energy irl)
№104324[Quote]
>>104323I might be able to do two
№104325[Quote]
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>>104304Captain science equips the gaunlet(no shit) and the flashgun, the flashgun is stored in the inventory as a secondary gun as you already have a shotgun on you.
Feraljak equips the ball and colorjak equips the brossbow(in his mouth o algo)
Unfortunatly for him, the shitalian gets nothing.
№104326[Quote]
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>>104306The spookykun namefags, headless jakkman and frankenjak arrive in front of the capitol.
Frankenjak asks officer fatjak
>Marge? What is going on here? Are you the ones who recruited us?Fatjak responds with
>We are ummm….renovating this place, by the way the guy who recruited you on that app is on the inside of the building №104327[Quote]
>>104326great job OP now get some sleep ill see ya tommorow
№104329[Quote]
Wake-up sleepyhead
№104330[Quote]
>>8937495
tsmt
№104331[Quote]
>>8937568
thats fine doe beit
№104332[Quote]
>>8937764
What if CS team and caption coal just fight outside instead of all that raisin
№104333[Quote]
>>8937796
do it without the unnecessary details maine its fine
№104334[Quote]
>>8937812
its not that much of a issue just do only the necessary actions without the raisinty details maine
№104335[Quote]
blud is deleting everything
№104336[Quote]
I’m sorry, but i quit the adventure. I pushed myself to my limits and i just don’t find it as fun as when i ran cobman adventure. I just think this thread is a waste of my time and bad for my mental health.
№104337[Quote]
Don’t chive the thread. It is no longer canon to the cobman universe.
№104338[Quote]
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kys
№104339[Quote]
>>104305Thanks for mindbreaking me and making me quit.
№104340[Quote]
atleast do a asset dump so someone can continue it
№104342[Quote]
>>104340No, i want the matter to be finished. This thread should be forgotten.
№104343[Quote]
Do you want to know the truth?
№104345[Quote]
I never liked running this adventure, i only did it because i promised to do it so i forced myself into doing it.