โ113641[Last 50 Posts][Quote]
On Soysphere Island, many tragedies have stricken the inhabitants. Most recently, the gates of Niggerhell have opened, to reveal an army of undead. A Jarty-Gooner Alliance threatens dmin 6's Cord Empire. The Shartycord convenes to invade the Jarty Empire to restore order once more.
BEGINAs observed in the previous thread (
https://archive.is/JYvhV), dmin 6 has sorted his massive party into three groups. A main group, a secondary group, and an Auxiliary group. These are called Group A, B, and C.
At the Shunker, Shartycord makes last minute preparations, before embarking on their mission to kill the Nujarty.
As it stands Group A has strong infantry, while Group B has strong mechs. Group B may actually be better suited for a more difficult task.
โ113940[Quote]
>>1139394cuck created nanobot implant to enslave the mob
โ113941[Quote]
>>113939Irwin tells them to make more portals, and to gather some netherite and potions and stuff, so that they can make armor and tools from the netherite
โ113943[Quote]
>>113937>>113927>>113930An anonymous benefactor gives a big shekel coin to Dr. Spadeibi Lez. The order is for him to launch a nuke on behalf of Group C.
He heads to the roof and fires a guided missile. Where it will hit? To be revealed, shortly.
โ113944[Quote]
>>113941>>113940CutsceneJak Louis Irwin tells /g/ to invest their armies into mining and looting the Nether, and to create nanobots that enslave and control the local population.
>>enslave the mobs with nanobots>Umm… Not even sure that's possible… I think you should see a psychologist and get a meds prescription…>How dare you talk to an Admin like that? I can ban you in an instant!>Okay. We'll try.>Fuck it. Three days in the cell, no appeals!>No! Sorry!Soylord drags the 4cuck to the ban cell…
โ113945[Quote]
Jartycuck Cyraxx jumpscares everybody and everybody gets teleported to Auschwitz where Big Lez lives.
โ113946[Quote]
>>113938Both of them are serving satouko hojou fan whos also guarding the entrance
โ113947[Quote]
>>113945'gated , wizard chud blast jarty cyraxx head into oblivion and send everyone back to their previous location
โ113948[Quote]
>>113945Anti teleporter is preventing that doe also stop derailing faggit
โ113949[Quote]
>>113938Group A reaches the entrance of Nujarty Tower. They encounter two Meximutt Ogres, Jarty-allied.
The right Ogre asks
>Hey bro… how did you get here without fighting any thugs of plenty first? โ113950[Quote]
>>113949Using dmin 6's speech skills Tell the ogres if they dont leave and go back to mexico that they are obsessed brimstones that are obsessed with the jarty and shartycord o algo
โ113951[Quote]
>>113950'dmin 6 smirks and gives an oration to the Meximutt Ogres…
^You shouldn't be fighting for the Jarty. The Jarty is obsessed brimstone.>Hmm… They might be…^… and if you don't go back to Mexico, you ar->OY CARAMBA YOU FUCKING PENDEJO CHUDCEL! WE ARE HERE ON VISA O ALGO! I GO FUNKY TOWN ON YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE HIJO DE PUTA!There is no recovering their cool at this point. You are now in a battle with the two.
โ113952[Quote]
>>113951throw your antimatter sword (or whatever the sword the sixth admin of the website has is called) like a boomerang and decapitate them both
โ113954[Quote]
>>113952>>113953'dmin 6 throws his sword at them.
Shrektoko 2 tanks the shot with his shield. It still does some good damage.
>Ay mi mano is sliced. He is an obsessed sword thrower. I can throw my crap, too!Shrektoko 2 throws his sword at 'dmin 6, 'tard strength included, knocking him into the ground.
^I-I think I broke a rib…He coughs up blood. The damage is certainly palpable.
Shrektoko 1 approaches. He says
>>Mi hermano, take his sword and use it. It's powerful.>I may do this. Do call the Dark Knight.>>Batman?>No, the other one.>>I think I find Bibisi! Dark knight come!Their reinforcement will arrive in two turns.
โ113955[Quote]
>>113954*Shrektoko 2 throws his mace at 'dmin 6
โ113956[Quote]
>>113954Chud veteran crouches for more stable recoil and fires at shrektoko 1's head with his drum mag ak
โ113957[Quote]
>>113954John feralston uses dead eye firing 6 shots into shrektoko 2's knees crippling him
โ113958[Quote]
>>113954the babybot shoots at the shrektokos
โ113959[Quote]
>>113954Shrektoko 1 swung his mace at group A in frenzy hitting murder drone clones to give shrektoko 2 enough time to pull out 'dmin 6 sword
โ113960[Quote]
(Couldn't really do the last one that well, due to timing)
>>113956>>113957>>113958>>113959Chud Veteran goes prone and lays down heavy fire on Shrektoko 1. Shrektoko instinctively lifts his shield, negating most of the shots.
Shrektoko 2 takes the nigerstone sword out, causing additional bleeding, but granting him a fitting sword.
>Now I destroy you fools!Babybot and John Feralston double team Shrektoko 1. Babybot's frag rounds partially penetrate the shield this time, while Feralston's 6 deadshotted rounds shred his legs. Remember that deadshot is 2 turn cooldown per round, for up to 6 of them.
The reinforcement will arive at the next turn.
โ113961[Quote]
>>113960Fuck it we ball , shrektoko howl but the adrenaline in his bloodstream keep him going and hes too pissed off to be bothered by pain
โ113962[Quote]
>>113961The enemy reinforcement is deployed.
Shrektoko 1 howls, but simply doesn't give a fuck about his legs being shredded, so he ignores it for this turn.
He bashes the ground, causing some harm to John Feralston and one of the Murder Drone clones. The attack also sends them flying back.
^This is turning disasterous… We could use some reinforcements…Well, that
is the main purpose of Group C. One of them
can be called in. Give it a shot?
โ113964[Quote]
>>113962also babybot continues to shoot at the shrektokos
โ113965[Quote]
>>113962Can we order some tacos and takis to calm down shrektokos and make them leave?
โ113966[Quote]
>>113962the sword explodes in shrektoko's hands becuase he doesn't know how to use it
โ113967[Quote]
>>113963>>113964>>113965You call entirety of Group C in. They'll arrive in 2 turns.
'dmin 6 attempts to reason wirh the angry Shrektokos…
^Wait! How about we order 100 pounds of takis and taco bell?>>Maybe… Wait, no! Jarty give us the takis we need every day!Cordbot Mk 1.5 fires some rounds at Shrektoko 1.
>>You definitely next! Mi hermano, cut the housefly bot down!>Con pleasure.>>113966The sword does not explode in his hands.
โ113968[Quote]
>>113962What about the nuke earlier ?
โ113969[Quote]
>>113967Goon Froot exits goonerhell and prepared to join the battle
โ113971[Quote]
>>113967'dmin 6's sword turns the shrektoko hostile towards spade knight because of the knight's bibisi resembling the one tyrone had
โ113972[Quote]
>>113971This is even less plausible…
โ113973[Quote]
>>113972Spade knight dash into the battle and swung his bibisea into Dr soyberg or whatever
โ113975[Quote]
Fingerboy try to slash spade knight with his claw but was easily parried away as the knight shove the dildo down finger throat
โ113976[Quote]
>>113974meanwhile admin thrembo and his thrembo soldiers fix bruntlefly's mech and fully heal him in an underground bunker
โ113977[Quote]
>>113970Jarty astro wakes up
โ113978[Quote]
>>113976that's because bruntlefly works for admin thrembo so they like each other no matter what happens o algo
โ113979[Quote]
Dr soystein gives dmin 6 the admin drug which removes yhe limits on his admin powers. 6 uses telekinesis to get his ssord back and uses his sword to hit the shrektokos with a energy slash
โ113980[Quote]
>>113976>>113978Somewhere in the Soysphere Island…
'dmin Thrembo brings Brundlefly back to life, next to Swaglord's old mech.
'oel discovers Brundlefly.
>Woah, are you okay? โ113981[Quote]
>>113980Meanwhile in goonerhell the goonbot 2.0 is almost completed. It is not as strong as the first one but smaller and more agile
โ113982[Quote]
>>113981It does not have as many weapons as the first one
โ113983[Quote]
>>113977>>113981>>113982I think enough cans of worms have been open for now…
โ113984[Quote]
>>113983Save the gooner bot for the very end
โ113985[Quote]
>>113983Omega floyd is being reborn
โ113986[Quote]
>>113983Goonbot wont be seen for a long time after this so it does not get overstuffed. As i said, it is not completed just yet
โ113987[Quote]
>>113984he would be way too weak considering how ridiculously strong some of the characters here are, i don't think it should be the very end, but relatively soon
โ113988[Quote]
>>113980bruntlefly asks 'oel how many black people does it take to change a lightbulb
โ113989[Quote]
>>113975>>113979>>113985Fingerboy tries to attack Spade Knight but hawk tuahs that shiet somehow.
Dr. Soystein asks 'dmin 6
>Have you tried the 'dmin pill?^No.>Try it.Dr. Soystein pops that sucker into 'dmin 6's mouth and he uses an 'dmin cheat to take his sword back.
Shrektoko says
>>Obsessed cheater brimstone or something like that idk o algo. That better do Floydian thingie! โ113990[Quote]
>>113989feralston gets up, feralston and babybot continue shooting at the shrektokos
โ113991[Quote]
>>113989Cordbot flies onto the shrektoko in the front and shoots his laser blaster into his mouth
โ113993[Quote]
>>113992bruntlefly asks 'oel to help fixing the mech
โ113994[Quote]
>>113992Bruntlefly talks about that time he teleported into cobman adventure and followed cobman into goonerhell
โ113995[Quote]
>>113990>>113991The Boss health bars get heckin' corrected.
John Feralston uses his 2 deadshot rounds on Shrektoko 1's face, while Babybot fires some frag rounds on his chest.
Cordbot Mk 1.5 closes in on Shrektoko 1'a face and blasts him with the laser cannon.
>AYEHe activates his
TARD RAGE. He smashes the Cordbot against the ground and
BODY SLAMS him for heavy damage.
REINFORCEMENTS ARRIVEGroup C arrives to relieve Group A of some of the combat.
โ113996[Quote]
>>113995All characters with ranged weapons fire at the head of shrektoko 1
โ113997[Quote]
>>113995suddenly, dwayne the truck johnson comes out of nowhere and rams into shrektoko 2, smashing him into the nujarty hq, it doesn't do much damage, and only breaks his leg (btw, dwayne the truck johnson is just dwayne the rock johnson but he's a truck now, also he dies after ramming into shrektoko 2)
โ113998[Quote]
>>113995Nupol shoots his gun into spade knightโs ear
โ114000[Quote]
>>113999he asks 'oel to get henry here
โ114001[Quote]
>>113999Bruntlefly tells โoel about cobmanโs journey through goonerhell, however after cobman took the rift back to shartenburg he lost track of him and has no idea what happened so he just makes up the end of the story
โ114002[Quote]
>>113996>>113997All gunners, except Cordbot, open fire on Shrektoko 1's head, blasting it open and killing him.
Le floydian magic is used to make Dwayne the Truck Bibisi crash into Shrektoko 2 and explode, killing Dwayne quick, opening the wall, and doing a bit more damage than requested, because Floydian magic was used.
Spade Knight doesn't get attacked because absolutely everyone was focusing on killing raisinoko 1.
โ114003[Quote]
>>114002Everyone on the Left decides to just dogpile the Spade Knight and beat the absolute raisin out of him
โ114004[Quote]
>>114002โMin 6 jumps at shrektoko 2 and slices him dozens of times
โ114005[Quote]
>>114002shrektoko 2 unleashes a massive brap, making it hard to breathe
โ114006[Quote]
>>114002aryan humanoid draws two aryan cards cards one called Queen of hearts conversion and another called antimatter ray, he uses queen of hearts on spade knight who got beat the raising out of him turning him into a shartycord alligned Heart Knight and he uses antimatter ray on shrektoko 2
โ114007[Quote]
>>114000>>114001Henry and 'dmin 7 arrives a few turns later…
Bruntlefly concludes the story he's been telling 'oel.
>Then he and the Mayor grabbed Deagles and put them in both of Goonclown's eyes, killing him instantly.Henry says
<Very interesting, but I've worked with Goonclown, and she's very much alive.Brundlefly stammers…
Protokleki says
^Well, it was an entertaining story at least.>The first half is true, I tell you!<Ahh… Swaglord's mech.>Wait… damn!^Wow, it's not even your mech. Quit lying, liar!>Well, it's an abandoned piece of junk. Swaglord probably built a new one… or kicked the bucket, idk.<I'll repair it.Brundlefly's mech will be repaired, but he obliterated 'oel's trust.
โ114008[Quote]
>>114007bruntlefly spawns a miss circle figure and gives it to 'oel to gain his trust
โ114009[Quote]
Getting sleepy…
โ114010[Quote]
>>114009please saar just a bit more…
โ114013[Quote]
>>114012It's not over, You ungrateful bastard.
Let the Nigga get some rest
โ114014[Quote]
>>114002Spade knight has realising the outcome of this battle was inevitable , throw his sword at high speed toward group C before fleeing back to the tower and regroup
โ114015[Quote]
>>114003>>114004>>114005>>114006>>114014The tide of this battle has fully turned. Group C beats the crap out of Spade Knight.
Shrektoko 2 lets out a massive brap. Spade Knight sees this as an opportunity to slip out of the party's hands.
Nupol Aryan activates two cards
QoH Conversion ~-~
Aryan~-~ - 5 * 3 cooldown - Converts all Spadesons on the scene into Heartsons
Antimatter Ray' ~-~
Aryan~-~ - 6 * 3 cooldown - Fires a supernigger Antimatter Ray.
Since Spade Knight has fled, QoH conversion only has a 60% chance of working. If this post ends in a number from 4-9, it works. Otherwise, it missed.
The Antimatter fires at Shrektoko 2, while 'dmin 6 slashes him five times. This rapes Shrektoko to death.
The brap cloud clears out. Everyone notices that Spadeknight has eloped. He has left a Fingerboy on a bibisi stick. The creature is still alive.
โ114016[Quote]
>>114015Now that the area is cleared… They bust down the door and get in
โ114017[Quote]
>>114015Astro Chud quickly warps back to chase Spade Knight and finds him. Spade Knight may have to fight Astro Chud.
โ114018[Quote]
>>114016Before proceeding, you realize that Cordbot Mk 1.5 is destroyed. You find it bizarre that one of the Shrektokos basically one shot him.
You tell Group C to hang around outside, because they're the Auxiliary Group. Group A enters the building first.
STAGE BEGINThis is bizarre. You see video game elements. This is heckin' epic, except that it's a mobile game, of which most are vantablack brimstone.
As it turns out, Soytan used the source teleporter to spawn in
the Jarty Cats, because she thought it would be cute.
….……….The rules are rather simple. There are three stages, and five cats. At the beginning, the Jarty Cat commander starts with 100 coins, and gets 50 coins a turn. He gets 50 additional coins per turn for every stage the player cleares, due to him upgrading the worker cats.
….……….Stage 1: 50 coins/turn
Stage 2: 100 coins/turn
Stage 3: 150 coins/turn
….……….The cats cost coins to spawn, which happens at the doors on every stage.
….……….Basic: 10c
Wall: 25c
Gross: 50c
Giraffe: 75c
Titan: 100c
….……….When you reach the end, you'll have to destroy the Jarty Cats base to neutralize the threat.
The Jarty Cat Commander acts independently of prompts, and cannot be found, nor fought.
Coins are also preserved between stages.
You can't find a secret exit or anything like that. You have to go through the cats and destroy the Jarty Cat's base to gain full entry to the NuJarty tower.
….……….At the beginning of the turn, the Commander gets 50 coins. He spends these coins on 2 Wall-class Jarty Cats.
โ114019[Quote]
Btw, you don't have to read anything between the red dotted lines. It's just for extra context.
โ114020[Quote]
'mbedded averi btw
โ114022[Quote]
>>114018make the jarty cat commander summon the titan jarty cat
โ114024[Quote]
>>114023the wall cats attack the group but are outmatched really easilly
โ114025[Quote]
>>114024The Wallcats attack 'dmin 6, but ue slashes them in half with his sword, one by one.
The Commander gains 50 coins, then spends 95 on a Gross, a Wall, and 2 Basics.
โ114026[Quote]
>>114025Gross throws one of the cats at the murder troons robot and injures one of them
โ114027[Quote]
>>114026Gross sends a Basic Jartycat to the party early. The Basic's body dents one of the Murder Drones' heads.
The Jartycats attack the party again. 'dmin 6 slashes a Basic and the Wall cat. The other Basic is reset before Gross, and the Gross Cat kicks 'dmin 6.
50 coins are added during the turn.
โ114028[Quote]
>>114027Chop off the cats arm
โ114029[Quote]
>>11402850 coins are added.
'dmin 6 cuts the Gross cat's leg-arm thing. It manages to balance on its leg.
The Basic Cat climbs on 'dmin 6 and whacks him with a club.
These guys look friendly, but they're kind of rude.
Commander spawns in 2 more basic cats for 20 coins - a frugal purchase.
โ114030[Quote]
>>114029put the sword right through its head. The murder drones attack the other cat
โ114031[Quote]
>>114029grab the basiccat on your head and throw him away, then, do an epic backflip and slice the gross cat in half
โ114032[Quote]
>>114030>>11403150 coins are added.
'dmin 6 catapults the Basic cat into one of the Murder Drones, yelling
^Catch!It screams as the Murder Drone punches its head in.
'dmin 6 does an ebic backflip and slices the one-legged Gross Cat in half.
As gravity pulls his head apart, he screams in modified Google translate Japanese
>ใใใใใใใใใใใใใฎๅท็ๅฟใฎๅผทใ้้ใ๏ผTwo Basic cats sneak up behind 'dmin 6. One hits his leg with a club.
โ114033[Quote]
>>114032the sixth admin of the website grabs one of the basic cats and throws him in the air, then, as hes falling to the ground, he slices him in half midair like hes playing fruit ninja or something, the sixth admin of the website then roundhouse kicks the second basic cat like chuck norris
โ114034[Quote]
>>114033'dmin 6 tosses one of the basic Jarty Cats in the air, and jumps, spinning around and slicing the cat in half. He lands with a high-velcoity roundhouse kick that dispatches the other cat.
50 coins are added during the turn.
โ114036[Quote]
>>113759When will this happen? You said that itโs queued
โ114038[Quote]
>>114034Move forward to next room
โ114039[Quote]
>>114036>>113759The gooners have finally selected a successor to their late president, gooner Root.
Dr. Goon gets elected. His campaign hook is to make more gas station boner pills. This unique angle hs won him the majority vote.