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№103698[Last 50 Posts][Quote]
It has been one year and three months since Cobman and his Cobgang sacrificed themselves to defeat the goonbot and save shartenburg from absolute destruction. In that time shartenburg has changed a lot, Goon Gang is no more, a prison colony has been built in order to contain leftover gooners and other dangerous criminals and the shartenburg museum now stands where the Goon Gang HQ once stood.
For one year shartenburg was relatively peaceful, as the national guard had organized themselves under the command of mayor Soot, but now the situation is changing yet again…
<Suspense space
With no hero to protect shartenburg, new villains are rising. In the shadows lurks the Merchant, a former member of the shartenburg council who has gone rouge and is now resorting to robbery and heists to fulfill his kikeish greed…
<Yapping space
An even more dangerous villain has risen in the form of Commander Coal, a former general of the national guard who defected to collaborate with the gooners.
Commander Coal went his own way after the gooners were banished from this universe. He has created his own militia and with the help of them he will soon try to overthrow soot in a bloody coup to achive his ultimate goal: Becoming the supreme leader of shartenburg.
<Final wordswordswords space
Luckily, a new ”hero” has arrived in the form of Captain Science, an obese soyboy LARPer and Cobman superfan who is larping as a real hero. He must now stop the plans of Commander Coal and the merchant, but first he must become and actual hero.
He is now on his 561th daily visit to the grave of Cobman, very close to the encampment of Coal’s forces. There he meets an unexpected guest…
BEGIN!
You place a funkopop in front of Cobman’s grave while crying tears of true sadness.
>*sniff* accept this….funkopop..please*sniff*, i know you are dead and according to science ghosts aren’t real so you probably can’t hear me but still…please acc-
You hear a sound behind you, you look to the left and see a familiar figure.
You wipe your tears away and look at the heckin’ cobgang legend.
>OH MY SCIENCE! Are you heckin’ colorjak from the cobgang?
<yes…
It turns out that colorjak has learned how to speak in non-gibberish…
First reply decides first action after this post, after that i will include most replies as long as it does not derail the story too much.
№103805[Quote]
>>103804go outside and finish downloading tor (so they don't think you are a schizo psycho murderer for downloading it)
№103806[Quote]
>>103804also trust me, the tor thing will be worth it for supplies weapons and stuff like that, trust the plan patriots
№103807[Quote]
'em, I might participate is this advthread like the other legendary advthreads i read about in the 'ki or something>>103776
>>103776 №103808[Quote]
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>>103805You push past the police and exit the room, so they won’t see you download tor.
>WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?<don’t question it, he has been acting strange latelyYou go outside to finish download tor, just like cobman 100% would have done.
№103809[Quote]
>>103808now that you have installed tor, go back inside and help the police or something
№103810[Quote]
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>>103809After finishing downloading tor you go back to the room.
>What in Soot’s name were you doing outside?>i uuhm went to the toilet..>ok…^I HAVE FOUND THE IDENTITY OF THE DEAD MAN!Another cop shouts.
№103811[Quote]
>>103810listen to the cop or something o algo
№103814[Quote]
>>103812captain science and his team head out deciding that they need to recruit someone who has specializes in fighting
(((they))) feraljak mentions some /pol/ clittycell named "Chud man" or something like that, he heard of him on reddit and he that might help them fight the happy merchants. the trio head to chud man's house and cave (his mother's basement)
№103815[Quote]
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>>103814Now that you know the gravitation of the situation, you head out and let the police do their work.
<There is this guy from reddit, he calls himself Chud man, maybe he could be useful against (((them)))?>let’s go find him<first we must get my carThe trio goes to feraljak’s car, it is still parked in front of the gym, then they drive it along the red path on the map and to Chud man’s home.
After driving for 3 hours they arrive at his home outside of shartenburg.
№103817[Quote]
>>103815knock on the door and chud man's mom opens the door
№103818[Quote]
Gn
№103819[Quote]
gn
№103820[Quote]
>>103818good night SAAAAAAAR
№103822[Quote]
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>>103817You knock on the door and an elderly woman opens the door.
>who are you all supposed to be?>We are the heckin Science Squad!>ok then… №103824[Quote]
>>103822Ignore prompts above and ask the senior citizen if they could see chudman
№103825[Quote]
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>>103822(Save this prompt later)
The team met chudman and he was a dedicated larper that pour 1/3 of his salary to acquire authentic equipment
№103826[Quote]
>>103823Rolling, if this reply ends with the number 1 or 9 i will include this prompt.
№103828[Quote]
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>>103824>Chudman lives here, right?Chudman’s mom gets a bit angry.
>My son calls himself that, how the hell do you know about him?What should you say to her?
№103829[Quote]
>>103828feraljak tells xher that he is a high ranking CIA agent and a hangmanrope gangster parroting puppet of the Communist Gangster Computer God or something
№103830[Quote]
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>>103829Feraljak goes full schizo mode.
<well, i am a high ranking CIA agent and radio slave for the Communist Gangster Government and con-artist Parroting Puppet Gangster-playboy god, SO LET. ME. IN!>…Chudman’s mom shuts the door in shock.
Feraljak gets REALLY mad.
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- №103831[Quote]
>>103830kick the door down
№103832[Quote]
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>>103831Angered, Feraljak kicks down the door.
<LET’S GET TO CHUDMAN!Captain Science has a realization, you are about to conduct a break in, you are supposed to be the heckin’ hero, and you are about to break into someones house just to recruit some person that you don’t even know will be useful or even want to work with you.
Should you really do this? №103833[Quote]
Ya kuch auur
№103834[Quote]
>>103832go back to your car and drive back to the gym again so captain science can use his new fitness knowledge he gained from lurking on /fit/ on his phone instead of breaking into someones house like a psycho
№103835[Quote]
>>103834I think its starting to get a bit too much back and forth between the same locations but ok.
№103836[Quote]
>>103835Don’t reply to this, i don’t want to start any argument
№103837[Quote]
>>103835yeah but xhe's gotta be strong to be a hero or something
№103838[Quote]
>>103832Captain science tell the elderly that feraljak is just schizo and clear up the understanding
№103839[Quote]
>>103838Contradictory prompt. I would have rolled on what prompt to do but i have already finished the images for the gray ID’s prompt.
№103840[Quote]
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>>103834You give up on getting Chudman on your team, as you have decided that it is not worth it.
The trio drives back to the gym, they arrive there early in the morning.
Colorjak says
^Are you sure about this? I don’t think it matters how much muscle you gain…that Coal guy has actual military grade weapons(Colorjak is represented by purple text from now on to not confuse him with feraljak)
№103841[Quote]
>>103840do a ton of chin ups and press ups for a while so your upper body (arms and torso) becomes gigachad tier
№103842[Quote]
>>103840btw, with his elite /fit/ knowledge, xhe will become a BVLL quickly, and might actually stand a chance
№103843[Quote]
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>>103841>>103842You ignore colorjak and do a shit ton of chin ups and press ups for some time.
Once you are done you gain a somewhat gigachad esque physique.
№103844[Quote]
>>103843eat some sigma protein powder straight from ohio and agartha with the joker on it and a bunch of other schizo shit, and drink some fat-free A2 milk so you can calciummaxx for the next schizo excersize, then, continue with the chin ups and press ups until you finally reach gigachad tier physique
№103845[Quote]
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>>103844You eat some ohio protein powder(never goon edition), the image of the joker makes you think about a certain other
clown, who you belive Cobman heroically defeated in goon HQ, but in reality went to another universe and then got killed by a vengeful Chud terrorist in goonerhell.
You then drink some A2 milk, then you work out for several hours. Once you are done you Finally have a gigachad physique.
The milk and the powder are now stored in your inventory, incase you need them again.
№103846[Quote]
>>103845now that you are done with the chin ups and press ups, it's time for the next exercise (more like extra fries geeeeg) which is John Wood's bone density training, which will make your bones dense and tough and hard as fuck, the milk also contains lot's of calcium, which will speed up the process by a lot
№103847[Quote]
>>103846oh, and it will make them bigger too, not only that, but if you complete it, you will also grow an inch in height cause of your larger bones
№103848[Quote]
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>>103846>>103847You do some bone density training for another few hours, this makes your bones denser and tougher, your bones also get bigger, you are no longer fat, you are now BIG BONED.
№103849[Quote]
I did NOT take 2 hours to make that btw
№103850[Quote]
>>103848finally, you do one more quick exercise (it only takes like less than 5 minutes) to untighten your psoas muscle, which will make you not be a pussy ass bitch like before and will stop the hallucinations you were having, and will heal ptsd and shit (which you probably don't have) and a bunch of other mental benefits and shit
№103851[Quote]
>>103849also wtf were you doing all that time?
№103852[Quote]
>>103851I needed a rest, i don’t work on this every single minute all day
№103854[Quote]
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>>103850You do a quick exercise to untighten your psoas muscle, this somehow makes you less of a pussy than before and stops the hallucinations.
>let’s stop some bad guys!You are ready, but so is Someone else…
№103855[Quote]
>>103854>but so is Someone else…oh no no no… is it captain coal?
№103856[Quote]
>>103855Goonclown's vengeful spirit from A6 Adventure
Niggersatan is impressed by Goonclown's virility and sends him back to Shartenberg to do his gooning schemes like that time in Boondocks Stinkmeaner got sent back to earth to terrorize niggers
№103857[Quote]
>>8912180
goonGODS… is this true?
№103858[Quote]
also who is coming? is it captain coal? please answer me saar
№103859[Quote]
>>103856Are you the author of ’dmin 6? If so i will take your prompt. The ”Someone else” i was reffering to was the merachant btw. Im working on a cutscene that reveals his plans.
№103860[Quote]
>>103858It’s the Merchant, and i did not say that he was coming, just that he was ready
№103861[Quote]
>>103859i don't think that's the author bro… also thank's for telling me who's ready saaaaar
№103862[Quote]
From now on, i will interact less for a bit, i have said enough
№103863[Quote]
Goonclown’s ghost will return, but won’t really do anything until halloween
№103864[Quote]
>>103863>it's officalgoonGODS… we are so fucking back…
№103865[Quote]
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Loading cutscene…
№103866[Quote]
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(Cutscene, not interactable)
In the secret hideout of the (((gorillionaries))), the Merchant is showing his plan to his minions.
>While Commander Coal is doing the dirty work of taking down Soot, you will distract the police by breaking into the bank and breaking out the prisoners from the camp, while this is happening, the special team will sneak into the gemcave and steal Soot’s secret project! Then we will be unstoppable! MWAHAHAHA!
They will strike at night, right after Commander Coal…
№103867[Quote]
>>103866With camp i meant to type colony
№103868[Quote]
meanwhile chudman (also known as leaking clittycel) while browsing LE HECKINRINO DEEP WEB ALT RIGHT FORUMS gains knowledge of the merchan't's plan (not the full one just the bank robbery n shiet) so he gets his bulletproof vest and his ar15 with way too much attachments and heads out into the night all the while flipping his nana off (CAPTAIN SCIENCE VILL GET A NEW PARTY MEMBER)
№103869[Quote]
>>103868What part of not interactable don't you understand
№103870[Quote]
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>>103856(Still cutscene)
Niggerhell, ’dmin 6 Universe…
After he got ACK’ed by the Chud terrorist, Goonclown’s sprit wandered niggerhell ever since, but now Niggersatan wants to send him BACK…
>You know what to do..>yeas~The devil snaps his fingers and the ghost of Goonclown is teleported to shartenburg…
>Can i get an applause? Anyone?XHE HAS RETURNED! №103871[Quote]
>>103869You can’t interact with the cutscene but you can make new scenes
№103872[Quote]
>>103869kys you cunt i didnt even reply to the cutscene in my prompt fuck off tranny
№103873[Quote]
>>103870blud is william afton, xhe came back like three times at this point, nigga is a fundamental part of reality fr fr ong
№103874[Quote]
>>103870blud thinks hes tricky from madness combat
№103875[Quote]
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>>103825>>1038686 turns ago…
Just a few minutes after the trio left the scene, Chudman(goofy ahh design from ohio) exited the house after learning about what’s going on in Shartenburg.
He flipped of his mom and headed towards shartenburg.
It has been atleast 5 hours since then, so Chudman is much closer now…
№103876[Quote]
>>103875meanwhile, captain science exits the gym, he will now be walking/running on his toes instead of walking normally, after doing this for a little while, his legs should be buff and strong just like his arms are, the sigma ohio joker protein will shorten the time needed for his legs to get ripped and buff
№103877[Quote]
>>103876he also orders a heckin limited edition cobman and waycob figurines as a reward for himself
№103878[Quote]
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>>103876>>103877You exit the gym and start running on your toes as fast as you can, after a while your legs are just as buff and strong as your arms, as the protein powder amplifies your training.
Now you almost look like Cobman after he drank the aryan vril.
You then go on the official website of cob comix™ and order a limited edition XL Cobman action figure and an XXL Waycob figure.
№103879[Quote]
Bed time award
№103880[Quote]
>>103878captain science trains his reflexes and reaction speed by arguing with heckin trolls and cobman haters online anticipating their responses and typing out a soy filled rageful argument in split seconds before they respond
>>103879goodnight op see you tommorow
№103881[Quote]
>>103878CS begins mewing so he can have a chad jawline
>>103879good night saar
№103882[Quote]
>>103875Chudman took a detour and ended up near the bank because he believes that's where the Jew will come out to enact their evil plan so he hid in plain sight waiting
№103883[Quote]
Cucked.com
№103885[Quote]
Test
№103886[Quote]
>>103885Are you using mobile data or just having a dynamic IP
№103890[Quote]
>>103889Well, his deletion password shouldn't have changed, so…
№103893[Quote]
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>>103880>>103881You train your reflexes by arguing with cobman hating chudcels on shartenchan.org.
You type a long and soy-filled response to a cobman hater thread.
>cobman was a real hero who did real hero things like defeating the goon gang, how dare you argue against him you stupid fucking chud. cobman defeated goon gang and if he hadn't we'd all be speaking gooneese so please accept cobman as a true icon and hero NOW!You then mew and eventually you gain a gigachad-esque jawline.
№103894[Quote]
>>103893open up tor on your phone and go to the 1337 /x/ board on some super obscure darkweb imageboard (not the 'cuck)
№103895[Quote]
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>>103882Chudman arrives at the Shartenburg bank, he hides behind a building in anticipation of the jews coming to rob the bank.
№103896[Quote]
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>>103894You open up tor browser and go to the /x/ board on a very bone-chilin spine-tingling slowburn darkweb imageboard called spookykun.net.
Perhaps you could find some help there?
№103897[Quote]
>>103896You get
glowniggered №103898[Quote]
>>103896after scrolling for a while, you find a spell that can turn your TWP into a juicy 12 inch BWC, you grab a red crayon that was on the ground and you draw a shitty pentagram, you step onto it and you say some nonsense schizo chants, after you finish the chant, the pentagram starts glowing and your twp grows into a 12 inch BWC
№103899[Quote]
>>103896don't do this
>>103897 i couldn't finish my prompt because i was on the toilet and i shat out a huge turd and was on my phone sorry
№103900[Quote]
>>103899that's why it took so long to write
№103901[Quote]
>>103897arent the glowniggers on xir side though?
№103902[Quote]
>>103901spookykun is a
honeypot or something
№103903[Quote]
>>103896you make a party recruitment thread and get 2 replies from 2 spookykun.net namefags one was called the headless jakkman and the other went under the alias frankenjak they both were interested in helping captain science because they had nothing better to do on a october day or something
№103904[Quote]
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>>103897>>103898The SPD pick up the the signal of you being on the darkweb and track your location, they consider
glowniggering you, but officer fatjak, who has returned from the crime scene by now, intervenes.
>he is our ally, you can’t do that because…you just can’t ok!You find a cock extension spell on spookykun and you draw a pentagram with a crayon that you found on the ground.
>elongus dongus, biggus dickus!Nothing happens.
As it turns out, standing in a pentagram drawn with a crayon and shouting a bunch of random nonsense won’t add inches to your cock.
№103905[Quote]
>>103904a scrawny looking demon from niggerhell manifests near you because xhe saw the pentagram
№103906[Quote]
>>103905(not niggersatan btw, just a regular demon)
№103907[Quote]
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>>103903>>103905You open up spookykun again and post a thread asking new people to join your party so the heckin bad guys can be defeated.
2 namefags reply, they both want to join, as they have nothing better to do.
If everything goes according to plan they will arrive in 10 turns.
A niggerdemon manifests near you in a cloud of black smoke after xhe saw the pentagram.
>ayo nigga are you trying to summon me or something? The demon approaches you.