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№103698[Quote]
It has been one year and three months since Cobman and his Cobgang sacrificed themselves to defeat the goonbot and save shartenburg from absolute destruction. In that time shartenburg has changed a lot, Goon Gang is no more, a prison colony has been built in order to contain leftover gooners and other dangerous criminals and the shartenburg museum now stands where the Goon Gang HQ once stood.
For one year shartenburg was relatively peaceful, as the national guard had organized themselves under the command of mayor Soot, but now the situation is changing yet again…
<Suspense space
With no hero to protect shartenburg, new villains are rising. In the shadows lurks the Merchant, a former member of the shartenburg council who has gone rouge and is now resorting to robbery and heists to fulfill his kikeish greed…
<Yapping space
An even more dangerous villain has risen in the form of Commander Coal, a former general of the national guard who defected to collaborate with the gooners.
Commander Coal went his own way after the gooners were banished from this universe. He has created his own militia and with the help of them he will soon try to overthrow soot in a bloody coup to achive his ultimate goal: Becoming the supreme leader of shartenburg.
<Final wordswordswords space
Luckily, a new ”hero” has arrived in the form of Captain Science, an obese soyboy LARPer and Cobman superfan who is larping as a real hero. He must now stop the plans of Commander Coal and the merchant, but first he must become and actual hero.
He is now on his 561th daily visit to the grave of Cobman, very close to the encampment of Coal’s forces. There he meets an unexpected guest…
BEGIN!
You place a funkopop in front of Cobman’s grave while crying tears of true sadness.
>*sniff* accept this….funkopop..please*sniff*, i know you are dead and according to science ghosts aren’t real so you probably can’t hear me but still…please acc-
You hear a sound behind you, you look to the left and see a familiar figure.
You wipe your tears away and look at the heckin’ cobgang legend.
>OH MY SCIENCE! Are you heckin’ colorjak from the cobgang?
<yes…
It turns out that colorjak has learned how to speak in non-gibberish…
First reply decides first action after this post, after that i will include most replies as long as it does not derail the story too much.
№103699[Quote]
WE ARE BACKKKKKKKKKK
№103700[Quote]
Ask colorjak for advice on how to be a real hero
№103701[Quote]
TLDR: There are two villains that you must defeat. One of them wants to start a soyvil war and overthrow soot and the other wants to steal and sheit(They may be working together to achive a more complicated goal). Captain Science must defeat them, but first he must train and a bunch of other sheit.
№103704[Quote]
>>103702captain science decides that he needs to get some actual real gadgets not just marvel themed toys and obtain and drink a vial of vril he needs to break into the gem cave and find anything that will help him there
№103705[Quote]
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>>103704>what if i broke into the gemcave? I heard that there are a lot of heckin’ sceincetastic gadgets and gear in thereColorjak gets a bit frustrated.
<Don’t you know that the gemcave is now closed off? If you make it there you would probably get arrested…i heard that Soot is working on something in there that he does not want you to know about… №103707[Quote]
>>103705captain science decides to head to the nearest comicslop store to buy some heckin awesomerino gadgets
№103708[Quote]
Next post will be kinda complex, thats why it’s taking time
№103711[Quote]
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>>103707You decide to head to COB COMIX to buy the newest cobman themed gadgets.
You are greeted by a very soy looking fella.
>welcome to Cob Comix! Here we have eveything from cobman comics, cobman merch and cobman gandgets, anything you can imagine to honor his legacy!>Can i buy some gadgets please?A UI element pops up, it shows all the gadgets currently avalible.
Those are:
>cobman’s grappling hook>sematary’s chainsaw>king caca’s staff>baby swede’s poopTIME TO ROLL!If the first reply ends with 1, 2 or 3 you buy the grappling hook, if 4 or 5 you buy the chainsaw, if 6 or 7 you buy the staff and if 8 or 9 you buy the poop.
(You) do the rolling!
№103713[Quote]
>>103711oh my fauci..weapons for cobman 1 so heckin wholesomerino
№103714[Quote]
looks like we buy the poop saar
№103715[Quote]
Cameo from Detective Feraljak cause his adventure thread died
№103717[Quote]
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>>103713>>103714Rolled 9, so poop it is.>i want the poop, swede baby was such a badass in the cobman tv show based on the the story!You buy the poop, a ’bought shit award’ appears for comedic effect.
>i was not expecting you to want that but okThe poop is now stored in your inventory, you can use it 10 times on enemies.
№103720[Quote]
>>103717now captain science needs to go train he goes to
the gym where he doesnt bother to do cardio just swings some dumbbells a couple of times
№103721[Quote]
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>>103720The new duo goes to the shartenburg never goon gym, the path is drawn on the map.
At the gym you swing some dumbbells, but that is all you can muster, as you have not worked out in several years.
№103722[Quote]
>>103721drink a bunch of sproke and fortified milk to regenerate your worked out muscles
then go visit your friend feraljak and ask him to join you on your adventure! you're gonna build a heckin keyed team just like cobman did!
№103723[Quote]
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>>103722You consoom some sproke and fortifierad milk, this regenerates your barely worked out muscles.
>i have an idea…You say.
5 hours later you arrive at your good friend feraljak’s house, located on the outskirts of shartenburg, outside of the map.
>FERAL! WE ARE BECOMING HECKIN SUPERHEROES JUST LIKE COBMAN!!!As always, you hear a voice from the other side scream.
<NOBODY’S HOME! №103724[Quote]
>>103723enter through the backdoor
№103725[Quote]
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>>103715>>103724You enter through the cellar door in the back, like you always used to do. Since colorjak is too big, he stays outside.
You climb up the stairs and see feraljak, turns out that he is larping as a real detective, just as you are larping as a real hero.
>pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease join our team<fine, if it means i get to kill some people then i’ll be ok with it №103726[Quote]
>>103725Tell him that we will kill a bunch of evil heckin bad guys and that we can even go to the gun store to buy feraljak a revolver to complete his larp cosplay
№103727[Quote]
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>>103726>yeah there are a lot of bad guys out there to kill, just like cobman did with the gooners!<who are those bad guys? I thought all criminals in the city were lynched by Soot after the goonie shitfest>uhh, nobody really knows but the media is saying that they are preparing to strike very soon<so?>i could buy you a revolver at the mcmutt gun store to complete your cosplay<im inFeraljak nods in agreement.
№103728[Quote]
>>103727The team goes to the gun store and captain science considers buying a heckin shotgun because cobman had a shotgun too at one point
№103729[Quote]
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>>103728The trio takes feraljak’s car and drives it to the same gun store that cobman visited a year ago.
<You remind me of someone or whatever, wasn’t that cob guy here before or something?>oh my science, he was, now give me that shotgun he had<There are only 3 shotguns for sale right now or somethingA shotgun roulette pops up.
>Gun 1(longest range)>Gun 2(fastest fire rate)>Gun 3(most damage)TIME TO ROLL AGAIN!If next reply ends in a single digit you buy gun 1, if dubs you buy gun 2 and if trips you buy gun 3.
If it ends with more than 3 repeating digits then you can’t afford any of the guns.
№103731[Quote]
looks like its shotgun 2
№103732[Quote]
>>103731Actually it’s 3, it ended with 3 digits repeating
№103734[Quote]
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>>103730Rolled trips, gun 3 it is
>i choose that one, it looks very gemmy<ok then or something along those linesYou now have a shotgun just like cobman had, you are literally HIM.
If you wish, i could do a roll for feraljak too.
№103735[Quote]
Heading to bed now
№103738[Quote]
Up
№103740[Quote]
Sorry, but some files got corrupted and now i have to remake almost all models.
№103741[Quote]
I will try to resume the adventure today, but after that expect me to take a break for a few days
№103742[Quote]
>>103739Feraljak’s roll will be a pistol roll.
№103743[Quote]
>>103741Shit maine, wish you luck on those redraw
№103744[Quote]
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>>103739Now is feraljak’s turn, he can choose between 3 pistols, as always (you) will roll for what pistol he buys(or if he can’t afford one)
>Revolver(medium damage)>Cucked revolver(very low damage)>Desert eagle(high damage)ROLLIN’ TIME!If the post number on the next reply ends with a number in the 1-3 range you buy the revolver, if 4-6 you buy the cucked revolver and if 7-8 you buy the deagle, if it ends with 9 feraljak can’t afford any of them.
№103746[Quote]
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>>103745ROLLED 9, FERALJAK CAN’T AFFORD!Feraljak realizes that he spent most of his money on bugs and meds, so he can’t afford any of the guns.
He gets angry at the mutt.
>why can’t it be CHEAPER!?Is there any other option?
№103747[Quote]
Up
№103748[Quote]
>>103746bribe the blackmutt with popeyes and mcdonalds
№103749[Quote]
>>103746tell the blackmutt there is a gyatted up rizzy down the block, so feral jak could steal from the 'mutt
>hmmm, should a white man be doing this? №103750[Quote]
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>>103748Feraljak brings forth a mcdonalds burger and popeyes chicken, that he for some reason had in his pockets, he gives it to the mutt.
The mutt drools at the sight of the goyslop
>you give me a pistol and i give you the food, deal?<umm yeah or whatever, but you only get the cucked revolver or somethingThe mutt hands over the cucked revolver.
№103751[Quote]
>>103750colorjak suggest to captain science that he goes back to the never goon gym to do a actual real workout captain science reluctantly accepts and the trio go back to the gym and workout for 2 hours
№103752[Quote]
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>>103751Feraljak grabs the revolver and puts it in his pocket.
<you must do REAL workout if you actually want to become a real hero, let’s go back to the gymCaptain science shrugs.
>i guessThe trio drives to the gym where Captain Science does le heckin self improovment, just like cobman would do.
After 2 hours he is done with the training, he has lost some of his fat, but has not gained that much muscle.
№103753[Quote]
Up
№103754[Quote]
ID test
№103755[Quote]
ID test 2
№103756[Quote]
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>>103755>>103754IP reset again award
№103758[Quote]
>>103752captain science drinks soylent that been modified to only contain proteins and testosterone (its a gym only special or something) he then wanders around town to see if theres anyone in need of heckin saving or some bad guys to be stopped
№103760[Quote]
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>>103758You take some gym exclusive soystosterone™, this instantly amps up your testosterone levels by 50%, you are no longer a soyfacing soyboy and you gain some muscle.
The trio heads out into the night in search of people to save and bad guys to stop.
Near the centre of shartenburg you find a bunch of stars of david painted on the walls.
The Merchant or his followers must have been here…
№103762[Quote]
>>103760enter the building
№103763[Quote]
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>>103762Captain Science and feraljak enter the building while colorjak stays outside because of his large size.
You equip your weapons as you enter a room with an unbearable smell, more stars of david are cluttered on the walls.
You see it…
The dead body of a man, ripped in half and hanged to the ceiling.
>OOIIII!!! OH MY FAUCI!!!<What le actual FUCK!? №103764[Quote]
>>103763call the SPD (shartenburg police department)
№103765[Quote]
>>103763They are trying to forcefully convert good Christian to Judaism, ponder feraljak
№103766[Quote]
Up
№103767[Quote]
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>>103764>>103765You call the shartenburg police department, as this is a heinous crime.
Officer fatjak responds.
<what’s the emergency>There fucking is a fucking dead fucking body at 1844 gemsooty st, please do something pleasepleaseplease<all avalible assets are on the wayThe police will arrive to your location in 3 turns.
Meanwhile, feraljak thinks about what could have happened.
>They must be trying to convert all christians of shartenburg into jews, and if they don’t comply, they kill them №103768[Quote]
>>103767captain science leaves the building because he's a little pussy cracka who's scared of seeing dead people, while feraljak continues using his 1337 thinking skills
№103769[Quote]
>>103767also, didn't you say you were going to take a break for a few days? did you change your mind?
№103770[Quote]
>>103769I have more time on my hands today than expected, im unsure about tomorrow
№103772[Quote]
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It turns out the testosterone boost did not make captain science any braver, so he quickly leaves the building in a rush.
<why are you running?
>There is a heckin dead body there!
<oh…
Feraljak keeps using his thinking skills to try to figure out the bigger picture.
>These jews must be trying to make an army of converted christians, maybe they want to start a new goon gang? They must have a leader who they all obey…
№103773[Quote]
>>103772Forgot to reply to
>>103768 award
№103774[Quote]
>>103772captain science starts hallucinating (probably because his body has lot's of testosterone, which he didn't have much of for a very long time), he looks at the window where the dead body is and he sees a bird from Serina, it starts speaking in english, and it says that "HE" is going to come soon, captain science shits his pants a little from fear, and starts crying like a selfish little fuck (btw, "HE" is not the merchant, nor commander coal, "HE" is a completely different entity)
№103775[Quote]
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>>103774>>103774You start feeling strange, you begin hallucinating, maybe because of the testosterone dose.
You look at the window above you, you see a strange bird, it’s a
Tigercrow from a place called Serina, but you have no way of knowing this.
>HE will come soon and this reality will be at risk…>wait…what?You shit your pants and begin crying like a selfish little pissbaby, colorjak gets very confused.
<Marge? №103776[Quote]
>>103774Speaking of Commander Coal, there will be a cutscene where he is introduced soon…
№103777[Quote]
>>103775captain science pulls his phone out, he watches some family guy and browses /fit/ to calm his nerves and hopefully feel better
№103779[Quote]
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>>103777You pull out your phone to calm your nerves a bit. You watch some family guy© and browse /fit/ for a while.
The police arrives next turn! №103780[Quote]
>>103779go back inside the building and goon your TWP a little bit
№103781[Quote]
>>103779also why did it take you more than an hour to make this geg
№103782[Quote]
>>103781I have been making models for the cutscene and other things
№103783[Quote]
>>103782The cutscene will happen right after next turn
№103785[Quote]
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>>103780You go back to the room where feraljak still stands and ponders what could have happened.
You goon your tiny pecker a bit, for no apparent reason.
<uhmm, maybe you shouldn’t be doing that in this situation…Feraljak says.
The shartenburg police department finally arrive on the outside, officer fatjak and 3 other cops approach colorjak.
>hey, i know you, you were fighting with cobman in the Goon Gang hq!<yes, but i don’t really want to talk about it…>so where is the dead body?<inside of there is guess, i didn’t check №103786[Quote]
>>103785captain science finishes gooning, he starts hallucinating a bit again, he looks over to the right, where the dead body is, he sees a shadowy Adam Mokraine near the body, Adam lunges at CS and jumpscares him before disappearing, CS falls to the ground and almost vomits from how scary it was, it's just like muh five knights at cobsons scary horror games!!!
№103787[Quote]
>>103785also are you the creator of admin 6 adventure 2.5? ya kuchh aur
№103789[Quote]
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Loading cutscene…
№103790[Quote]
>>103788wait… you aren't the creator or A6A? shit… i was gonna include some stuff about it, but i guess ill pass on that for a while
№103791[Quote]
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The forces of Commander Coal are preparing to siege the capitol, in camp coal and it’s underground tunnels they train for their mission.
Commander Coal is giving a speech to the army.
>IN 24 HOURS WE STRIKE! With the help of our souveniers that we took from the national guard we will surround the capitol and demand that soot resigns, if he refuses then we storm into the capitol and cut his head off, then this city will be ”liberated”!
In the tunnels, the army is training, they practice their aim and test their weapons.
The plans have been approved, they will attack during the night after this one.
The soyvil war is near
№103792[Quote]
>>103790I have read the admin 6 adventures and i will know most of the things you are talking about, but you should probably wait with dimension hopping stuff until later
№103793[Quote]
>>103792yeah alright, also, did you download the assets that the OP of A6A put in the thread? just asking oy veylgo
№103795[Quote]
>>103794aw sheeeit… well ok then
№103796[Quote]
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>>103786You finish gooning, then you hallucinate again.
Something strange that you have never seen before appears near the body.
It lunges at you and jumpscares you, just like in Five nights at cobson’s, the next moment it is gone.
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!<Marge? Why did you jump like that? №103797[Quote]
>>103796tell him you are schizoing out or something along those lines
№103798[Quote]
>>103796you get teleported to bucks drop pod from halo 3 odst, get aped by a grunt, shit on the floor, and die
№103799[Quote]
>>103798who tf does this nigga think he is :skull: :skull: :skull:
№103801[Quote]
>>103800whip out your phone and download the tor browser so you can use the dark web, also when are le police gonna come in?
№103802[Quote]
>>103801They come in once you prompt it
№103803[Quote]
>>103802well ok, then they will come in after you download tor o algo asi
№103804[Quote]
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>>103801>>103803You whip out your phone to download tor browser, you don’t want to do this, but it feels like something is forcing you to do it.
The police enter the room before you can download tor.
>so is this what you were talking about?>yeah>those symbols…i know exactly who did this…